How you doin’? Talking about diseases

How you doin'? Talking about diseases

Put your phrases away. We need good conversation.
Put your phrases away. We need good conversation.

How you doin’? Talking about diseases.

 

The question “How are you?” is a constant one. Very few people answer it as a serious question. If, however, it is answered too personally, it overwhelms those who only ask out of habit or politeness. So, what do we do when we learn that a person we are talking to has a serious disease?

How you doin’?

 

The question “How’s you doin’?” polarizes. Some people dislike it because they think it is not meant seriously. Others consider it a harmless phrase, which should be met with a friendly phrase. Very few people take it as a serious question. If the answer is too personal, it will overwhelm those who only ask out of habit or politeness, especially if there is no close relationship with the interviewer.

 

 

 

Talking about diseases

 

Some people interpret the question “How’s it going?” as an invitation to report on the current state of health in astonishing depth.

Whoever asks should not be surprised if there is an honest answer, right?

What should we do if our colleague gives us such detailed descriptions of his headaches that we want to take painkillers ourselves? What if we meet the next-door-neighbor in the supermarket and hear about her cancer diagnosis instead of “Everything’s great!”.

 

 

 

Shared suffering, half suffering?

 

It is questionable whether the saying ” Shared suffering, half suffering”, which is often heard in Germany, can withstand a statistically tenable investigation. Thus, the context and the relationship of those involved are very important.

Anyone who constantly complains about every little bit of trouble does neither himself nor his environment any favors. This damages one’s reputation and does not exactly make other people seek closeness. Such people are soon no longer taken seriously when the depression turns out to be a mild melancholy and the occasional headache is always decorated as a migraine of the century.

Talking too often about illness is not so good for the soul and overall condition. The constant focus on problems restricts perception, thinking, and action, and additionally lowers the quality of life. This makes you even more unhappy! Too much focus on illnesses is terrible, but not to talk about it at all is not a solution.

A trustful talk about suffering is something that can be very liberating. That is then also a proof of trust, an indication of the importance of the relationship between people. But this is best done in a private setting.

 

 

 

So you’d rather not ask?

 

When a person asks another person in everyday life “How are you?”, it is usually just a polite phrase. That’s why I don’t like this question very much.

It seems particularly frequent and superficial to me in the USA, where “How are you?” or “How you doin’?” can be heard as often as “Hello!”. I understand the function. To meet each other in such a positive way makes living together easier. A friendly atmosphere is created. Nevertheless, it always seems a little strange to me. I think it’s better if we mean what we say. Admittedly, a “How’s it going?” often comes out automatically. Many people are not aware of the meaning of these words. That’s why I work with my clients on their presence. This requires to means what is said.

If you ask, you should expect to get an honest answer. If you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t even ask. However, if you ask, you may also accept the reaction.

 

 

 

What to do if the answer is unpleasant?

 

How do we respond appropriately to unpleasant revelations? What reactions and words are appropriate – and when should we be silent? Hardly anyone is prepared for this. That is why such a situation usually catches us by surprise.

It helps to have a good sense of whether further inquiries are desired. It is good to show true compassion, but no one has anything to gain from it if the sick person has to comfort his or her interlocutors. “Cheer up”, “You can do it” or the demand of a promise to become completely healthy again is rarely helpful and can be perceived as an imposition, especially in the case of life-threatening illnesses. Such behavior is just as unhelpful as well-meant advice or exaggerated attempts at encouragement. Often the best reaction: listen, listen honestly! Otherwise, it helps to ask what expectations there are.

While well-trained therapists have learned to take care of themselves and their minds, this is not a matter of course. Take good care of yourself. You may also speak respectfully if something gets too close to you. There are situations for which there are no ready-made solutions.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

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How do you feel about the question ” How you doin’?” and conversations about diseases?

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In the article, you will learn how to identify narcissists.

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Presenters who care deeply about their message tend to use their entire bodies to support the message. - Karsten Noack

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: September 1, 2019
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#121

The first rule of rhetoric: Let us start with the basics of speaking.

The first rule of rhetoric: Let us start with the basics of speaking.

The fundamental role that is mostly neglected
First rule of rhetoric: Let us start with the basics of speaking.

The first rule of rhetoric

 

Does everyone have to say something about everything? In my opinion, the most important rule of rhetoric and good communication style is that those who have nothing to say should shut up.

The first and most important rule of rhetoric

 

 

1. rhetorical rule:

 

Those who have nothing to say should shut up.

 

It is worthwhile to consider the most important rule of rhetoric. And it isn’t a new one.

 

 

 

The basics of communication

 

The first rule of good style – almost sufficient in itself – is that you have something to say.

Arthur Schopenhauer

 

 

 

Once upon a time…

 

I had an otherwise very esteemed colleague who used to express himself regularly every 15 minutes. And he did this largely independently of the topic and the relevance of the personal contribution to it. He had read in a career guide that behavior would be good to progress with his career.

With cause and effect, it is sometimes such a thing. He has succeeded well with his career, and therefore he will probably consider this recommendation right. I think, however, that he was able to make a career with his other knowledge and skills. His verbal contributions in meetings, however, were no pleasure for everyone else involved. It was a direct violation of the 1st rule of rhetoric: Who has nothing to say, better shut up! Or in the words of Abraham Lincoln: “It is better to remain silent and be suspected of being an idiot than to speak and thereby remove all doubts.

 

 

 

Am I exaggerating my position?

 

With some distance to this article, I tend to relativize my thoughts. I still stand by the basic statement, but the words can also be misunderstood. After all, I am a great friend of the idea that speakers express their thoughts while forming an opinion and sharing it with others. This can be very enriching for everyone involved. It is not about one’s ego, but about contributing something.

So every speaker is invited to think about his or her intention beforehand.

Preparation of important speeches and presentations

 

Those who do not speak are not heard, and even those who speak up are not always successful. There are a few more steps that need to be mastered.

Do you want to convince with your message and also as a personality? Then I will help you to prepare your speeches and presentations. You determine the scope. At least, I recommend a test run with professional feedback for you and your message. Then you will know how you and your content are perceived, what you should do and what you should leave out, where there is potential. Why do you want to get such helpful feedback so late after your real performance? Then it is too late for adjustments. Benefit from the advantage. My definition of luck: Preparation meets opportunity.

You can best estimate for yourself where the effort is worthwhile concerning the expected benefit. Here you will find the fees for my support (communication, psychology, language, structure, voice, body language, storytelling, rhetorical means, media such as PowerPoint and Co., etc.)

You are not in Berlin right now? Then choose meetings with me via telephone or video support. Whereby, there are quite good reasons for a trip to Berlin.

By the way, many people suffer from such intense stage fright in front of an audience and therefore their performance lags behind their possibilities. Too bad, because with my help performance in a good condition is possible. Just in case...

A good start: Professional feedback with recommendations for improvements

 

How convincing are you and your messages in speeches and presentations? How good are you in the 111+ most important presentation skills? I have been analyzing speeches since 1998. After evaluating 14,375 speeches and presentations, I can tell you very precisely what has which effect on which audience. Let me give you the feedback that will help you get ahead. You will receive essential feedback and recommendations, as well as the impulses you need to convince your audience in concrete situations.

Are you interested? Then you will find here the information on feedback with recommendations for improvements of speeches and presentations.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

What do you think about this fundamental rule?

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First rule of rhetoric: Those who have nothing to say should shut up. - Karsten Noack

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: May 2, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/erste-regel-der-rhetorik/
K:
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T: RR
#977

Tongue twisters from A to Z as training for voice, articulation and concentration

Tongue twisters from A to Z as training for voice, articulation and concentration

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
Tongue twisters

Tongue twisters for your pronunciation

 

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! And tongue breakers are used to train dedicated speakers. Through regular training with tongue twisters, you will increase your attention, concentration, and memory, as well as your own pronunciation.

 

Tongue twisters

 

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. Tongue twisters are word sequences whose correct pronunciation is difficult and challenging even for native speakers. They are usually a series of similar words that differ in syllables and are designed to make it difficult for the speaker to pronounce them correctly.

This is done by combining syllables that are seldom pronounced one after the other, making them unfamiliar to the speaker. The words often end in a vowel or a diphthong, whereupon the next word also begins with a vowel or a diphthong, which causes difficulties in pronunciation. Tongue twisters are also often alliterations and rhymes of shaking. Speaking the tongue breaker is often difficult just because of the repetition.

Three thick dragons serve three thin ladies. And tongue twisters serve to train dedicated speakers. This trains speaking ability, articulation, and concentration.

Examples of tongue twisters

 

Tongue twisters starting with A

 

A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!

A black bloke’s back brake-block broke.

A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea ‘what shall we do?’
‘let us fly’ said the flea
said the fly ‘shall we flee’
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.

A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed
gradually giving gophers gooey guts.

A lump of red leather, a red leather lump

A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.

A slimey snake slithered down the sandy Sahara.

An agile, angry ape addled up the avenue.

Ann and Andy’s anniversary is in April.

As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with B

 

Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.

Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.

Black background, brown background, black background, brown background, black background, brown background.

Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I’d have a cow pie in my eye.

Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood.

Busy buzzing bumble bees.

 

 

Tongue twisters with C

 

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.

Clean clams crammed in clean cans.

Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.

Crying came the crone creeping from the cold cafe.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with D

 

Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.

Dimensional analysis

Double bubble gum, bubbles double.

Dust is a disk’s worst enemy.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with E

 

Earnest Edgar eyed everything everywhere.

Eddie edited it.

Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.

Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with F

 

Four furious friends fought for the phone.

Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.

Fresh French fried fly fritters.

Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with G

 

Gilbert grabbed a golden globe, giving it to Gilda.

Gobbling gargoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

Good blood, bad blood.

Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip.

Green glass globes glow greenly.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with H

 

He threw three balls.

He threw three free throws.

How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

How many cans can a cannibal nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans?
As many cans as a cannibal can nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans.

How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as many cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

How much caramel can a canny cannonball cram in a camel if a canny cannonball can cram caramel in a camel?

How many snacks could a snack stacker stack, if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?

How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.

How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.

How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with I

 

I’m a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I’m a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I’m a sock cutter and I cut socks.

I eat eel while you peel eel.

I saw a kitten eating chicken in the kitchen.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!

I shot three shy thrushes.

I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.

I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

I’m not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker’s son,
but I’ll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.

I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

I wish you were a fish in my dish.

If practice makes perfect and perfect needs practice, I’m perfectly practiced and practically perfect.

If colored caterpillars could change their colors constantly could they keep their colored coat colored properly?

If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

If you understand, say “understand”.
If you don’t understand, say “don’t understand”.
But if you understand and say “don’t understand”.
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?

If you’re keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.

I saw Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop.

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

It’s a nice night for a white rice fight.

It’s not the cough that carries you off,
it’s the coffin they carry you off in!

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with J

 

Justin jumping joyous joined in Johnna’s jubilee.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with K

 

Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.

 

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with L

 

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

Local yokel jokes.

Lou Lou licked on lollipops while Larry lit a light.

Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke’s duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck’s duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.

Love’s a feeling you feel when you feel
you’re going to feel the feeling you’ve never felt before.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with M

 

Myrtle made moist, Mango muffins mostly meant for Mina.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with N

 

Naughty nighthawks noisily, narrowly neared Nina.

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.

 

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with O

 

Octopus ocular optics.

One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they felt smart.
Four smart fellows, they felt smart.
Five smart fellows, they felt smart.
Six smart fellows, they felt smart.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with P

 

Peter poorly penniless prepares a peekish pout.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, ’tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.

Pirates Private Property

Purple paper people, purple paper people, purple paper people.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with Q

 

Quails quoted a quandry quickly quarrel qualities.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with R

 

Real weird rear wheels, real weird rear wheels, real weird rear wheels.

Red blood, green blood, red blood, green blood, red blood, green blood.

Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.

Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.

Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

Rudder valve reversals

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with S

 

Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.

Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.

She saw Sherif’s shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif’s shoes on the sofa?

She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.

Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.

Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.

She sees cheese.

Sheena leads, Sheila needs.

Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.

Silly sheep weep and sleep.

Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.

Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.

Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards.

Six slimy snails sailed silently.

She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.

Stupid superstition!

Suzie Seaword’s fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.

Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with T

 

The big black bug bit the big black bear,
but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!

The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.

The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

The queen in green screamed.

The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.

The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

Thrash the thickset thug!

There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.

There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.

There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.

Thin grippy thick slippery.

Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.

Thirty-three sly shy thrushes.

Three short sword sheaths.

Three thick things.

Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.

Tie twine to three tree twigs.

Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with U

 

Uma utters undiscovered, “Uphold unity.”

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with V

 

Valuable valley villas.

Vera vocalizes, venting, verbal vanity.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with W

 

Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.

What veteran ventriloquist whistles?

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write.

Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.

Which rich wicked witch wished the wicked wish?

Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?

Which witch is which?

Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?

Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can’t you, don’t you, won’t you, William?

Willie’s really weary.

Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with X

 

Xander examines xylophones while xeroxing x-rays.

X-ray checks clear chests.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with Y

 

Yellow leather, yellow feather.

Yolanda’s yellow yogurt yields a yummy yearning yen.

 

 

Tongue twisters starting with Z

 

Zachary’s zenith zones on the zodiac and zen.

This is a zither. Is this a zither?

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he?

 

A good start: Professional feedback with recommendations for improvements

 

How convincing are you and your messages in speeches and presentations? How good are you in the 111+ most important presentation skills? I have been analyzing speeches since 1998. After evaluating 14,375 speeches and presentations, I can tell you very precisely what has which effect on which audience. Let me give you the feedback that will help you get ahead. You will receive essential feedback and recommendations, as well as the impulses you need to convince your audience in concrete situations.

Are you interested? Then you will find here the information on feedback with recommendations for improvements of speeches and presentations.

P.S.

 

Do you know of any other tongue twisters?

Articles

Tongue twisters from A to Z as training for voice, articulation and concentration

Tongue breakers are used to train dedicated speakers for speaking, articulation, and concentration.

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He threw three free throws.

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: September 26, 2018
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/zungenbrecher/
K:
H:
T: RR
#351

The importance of showing appreciation: 10 good reasons to show appreciation

The Importance of Showing Appreciation: 10 Good Reasons To Show Appreciation

Why appreciation matters so much.
The Importance of Appreciation

Showing appreciation to other people

 

We all need to know that we’re important in other people’s lives. Humans need to be noticed and valued — in private and business life. Why do I believe that it is so important to show appreciation? Because…

The Importance of Appreciation

Why appreciation matters so much

 

At least in Germany, the term “appreciation” degenerates into a buzzword; today it is used inflationary and is seldom meant honestly. Although appreciation is often confused with praise and recognition for achievements, real appreciation goes much further. It regards colleagues as human beings who are valuable because of their abilities, personality, and uniqueness. Regardless of their position in the company, each employee has enormous potential in different areas.

Respect, recognition, and benevolence are a part of how we show appreciation. Appreciation is characterized by interest, attention, devotion, and friendliness.

Appreciation is a fundamental human need in both professional and private life. We want to be appreciated by what we are, what we do, and what we achieve. We all need to know that we’re important in other people’s lives. And we need to feel that we are appreciated — in private in business life. It doesn’t matter whether your office is a boardroom, classroom, or anywhere else. We all want to be noticed and valued. Appreciation is at the core of all healthy relationships. Most of us feel like we don’t get enough appreciation. Did you know that one of the main reasons people leave their jobs is because of a lack of appreciation? It’s demoralizing when you’re not recognized for your efforts and skills. There are a lot of people who do things for you every day. Employees, colleagues, family, and friends are expected to do their part. Do they know that you appreciate them? Let others know that you appreciate them.

Why do I believe that it is so important to show appreciation? Because…

Appreciation is powerful. 10 good reasons to show appreciation

 

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. The value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know what you value. There are plenty of powerful benefits to the recipient and giver as well. Here are a few examples.

Apply appreciation to your relationships in business and private life and you will…

 

1. … make other people happy.

 

Appreciation is a fundamental human need in both professional and private life. We want to be appreciated by what we are, what we do, and what we achieve.

 

 

 

2. … make yourself happy.

 

When you express your appreciation for someone, you will not only improve their lives but yours as well. You will feel more fulfilled because you have done something to make someone else’s life better. It will change your mindset. Our mood and daily outlooks change when we focus on positive things rather than negative.

 

 

 

3. … boost moral.

 

Appreciation boots moral. It has the largest effect on trust when it occurs immediately after a goal has been met, when it comes from peers, and when it’s tangible, unexpected, personal, and public.

 

 

 

4. … motivate others.

 

One of the easiest and most effective ways to motivate others is by appreciating them. When you praise or appreciate someone, it indicates that you have recognized their effort. It may encourage them to go the extra mile. Giving recognition inspires greatness in others.

 

 

 

5. … build trust in relationships.

 

Gratitude makes us nicer, more trusting, more social, and more appreciative. As a result, it helps us make more friends, deepen our existing relationships, and improve our marriage. Those who express appreciation with others are more committed to them and more likely to stay in the relationship.

 

 

 

6. … show respect.

 

Respect is an essential ingredient for healthy relationships.

 

 

 

7. … deepen your relationships.

 

When you look for the good instead of the bad in the surrounding people, you begin to notice just how interesting they are. You will engage at a higher level. It will accelerate the relationship-building process and enhance their overall impression of you.

 

 

 

8. … see more clearly what counts.

 

Your focus change and will be more positive.

 

 

 

9. … see more innovative results.

 

Employees who recognize their team members experience a huge increase in innovation.

 

 

 

10. … increase your effectiveness.

 

Giving appreciation has a direct impact on results. For example; employees who give or get appreciation experience a huge increase in work results.

 

 

 

How?

 

Go ahead and thank someone for something they’ve done for you. It costs you so little, but it might mean the world to the other person.

Survey results

 

Do you feel appreciated by your employer?

%

Rare to never

%

Just enough

%

Often

Result of a non-representative survey on www.karstennoack.de and among participants attending events of NOACK Training & Coaching Berlin (n= 633)

Appreciation within the company I work for is…

%

rarely meant seriously.

%

usually meant seriously.

Result of a non-representative survey on www.karstennoack.de and among participants attending events of NOACK Training & Coaching Berlin (n= 645)

What can a company do to value its employees?

 

Companies that are serious about appreciation should consistently live the values they share. Unfortunately, this is rather the exception! All the more gratifying that some of my clients are willing to take this step. All too often, it’s all about declarations of intent.

What can each individual employee contribute?

 

Each of us can open our mouths, express ourselves appropriately, and show appreciation to others. By the way, even superiors are still human beings. We cannot say “Thank you!” often enough. It costs so little and brings so much.

And how can I express to my colleagues that I appreciate them?

 

Speak out what is valued about each other. Small gifts maintain friendship; whether verbal or quietly, sometimes symbolically tangible. Even an honestly meant smile can speak volumes. And undivided attention, as natural as it should be and yet is not, is also a precious commodity.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

How about taking the time to appreciate someone today? And do you know how to appreciate yourself?

Articles

17 tips for facial expressions in speeches and presentations

This article deals with what it is worth paying attention to as a speaker concerning facial expressions.

Do you have a mentor?

Do you have a mentor?

Almost every successful leader had a mentor. What is important to keep in mind, what makes a good mentor? Learn how a mentor can support you.

read more
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: May 15, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/wertschaetzung-unternehmen/
K:
H:
T: RR
#1652282

Rather SMART goals than unfulfilled wishes. SMART goals make life easier.

Rather SMART Goals Than Unfulfilled Wishes. SMART Goals Make Life Easier.

Don’t confuse your dreams with goals: Wake up and be SMART
Wake Up!

Smart goals or rather big wishful thinking?

 

Better smart goals than unfulfilled wishes. Well defined goals for better self-management, more effective meetings, negotiations,… Life is much easier when agreements with ourselves and others are made more clearly and realistically.

Wishes or goals?

 

So many people have so many good intentions. Few of them are realized. Because very often goals and wishes are confused. But with pure wishful thinking, little can be achieved beyond esotericism. Yes, I liked the 80s with the New Age, and “What’s the Bleep!” was nice too. It regularly requires more than just dreaming.

Personal declarations of intent in which only one person is involved – ourselves – are already difficult enough. This explains why agreements have their pitfalls with an increasing number of people. In meetings with 10 participants, there are frequently 11 opinions on what was agreed upon.

 

 

 

Real goals are S.M.A.R.T.

 

Whether in meetings, negotiations or your planning: The prerequisite for goal-oriented action is well-chosen and defined goals. When the defined goals lack essential characteristics, this is the most common reason why the desired result is different from the intended one.

This is a pity because it is relatively easy to significantly increase the chances of success. Use the proven SMART format to formulate your goals. Each letter represents a characteristic that has a good goal.

 

 

 

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Specific

 

Goals need focus, dreams don’t. Dreams can be free-floating thoughts. The goals must be formulated and specifically present.

What exactly do you want to achieve? The more precise your description, the higher the chance that you will get exactly that.

 

Questions you can ask yourself when setting your goals are:

  • What exactly do I want to achieve?
  • How do I want to reach it?
  • Where do I want to reach it?
  • Who do I want to reach it with?
  • What are the conditions and restrictions?
  • Why exactly do I want to achieve this goal?
  • When do I want to reach it with which steps?

 

 

 

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Measurable

 

Measurable goals mean that you determine exactly what you will see, hear and feel when you reach your goal. You have an idea that provides orientation. It means breaking your goal down into measurable elements. You need concrete evidence.

Some goals require a long journey. Then measurable criteria help to recognize progress.

 

 

 

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Attractive

 

It is very important to formulate your goals positively because what you concentrate on gets attention.

Is reaching your goal relevant to you? Why do you want to achieve this goal? What is the goal behind the goal, and will this goal make it possible?

 

 

 

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Realistic

 

While you can dream for free, goals do not come without a price. Time, money, effort, and sweat. How and what will you pay for your goals? Is your goal even achievable?

If you do not have sufficient resources such as time, money or talent to achieve a particular goal, you are likely to fail and be unhappy.

There is nothing wrong with reaching for the stars. That doesn’t mean you can’t take something that seems impossible and make it possible by planning wisely and tackling it. If you lack certain skills, you can plan the training. If you lack certain resources, you can look for ways to get them.

 

 

 

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Timely

 

Goals have a finish line. Dreams never have to end. Dreams can go on forever. They don’t have to have an ending point. Goals must have a specific outcome.

Deadlines are what make most people switch to action. So install deadlines, for yourself and your team, and go after them. Keep the timeline realistic and flexible, that way you can keep morale high. Being too stringent on the timely aspect of your goal setting can have the perverse effect of making the learning path of achieving your goals and objectives into a hellish race against time – which is most likely not how you want to achieve anything. Too much pressure doesn’t lead to better results. Better: Milestones usually have a positive effect.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

And how do you deal with wishful thinking, goals and agreements?

Articles

More contentment through self-acceptance or does that reduce the motivation?

Many people consider discontentment to be the most important motivator. My observation: We are happier when we learn to accept ourselves as we truly are. And we stimulate personal development this way.

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Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Washington Irving

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#234

These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

Some people are interrupted more often than others while talking. Reduce the likelihood to be interrupted.
blank

Reduce the likelihood to be interrupted

 

What kind of people don’t let you finish your talk? In a good conversation, everyone has his part. Everyone can talk and let the other talk. But why are some people interrupted so often, and what can be done about it? Here are some tips to reduce the likelihood to be interrupted while you speak.

Speaking without being interrupted

 

In a good conversation, each participant can talk until he finished his speech. Each participant is allowed to talk and lets the others talk. Every relevant contribution deserves to be heard. Interrupting other people’s speeches is not very polite. And yet it happens so often.
 Admittedly, in the heat of the moment, it is not always easy to hold back. Body chemistry interferes with the good education of childhood.

Some people interrupt others, and some people are interrupted more frequently. What kind of people don’t let you finish? The reasons for interrupting may be bad manners, feelings of superiority, social and communicative deficits. 
Many people have never learned to be good listeners. But why are some people interrupted so frequently? In this article, you will learn how to make excuses.

In this article, you will find recommendations so that you will not be interrupted while talking.

 

 

 

What to do?

 

Not everyone succeeds in finishing their sentences equally well. We live in a culture where interrupting is common and commonly tolerated. Being interrupted is frustrating for most people, but if you are a shy, soft-spoken, or introverted person, it can make it especially difficult to communicate. Because of this, speakers are developing different strategies to prevent it.

Many do not take a break from talking because they are afraid of not reaching the essential point.
 That does not make them more relaxed, but breathless.
 To counteract this, many keep their voice at the end of the sentence above and avoid pauses. In this way, no starting point and little space for an interruption should be provided. However, good intention also has disadvantages.
 Those who therefore constantly stay at the end of the movement with the voice at the top, make long movements and avoid pauses do not appear sovereign but fearful. Statements then sound more like questions. All these damages the impression we make on other people.

Some people, despite attempts at the interruption, can persevere, prove their assertiveness and better nerves. 
Even if this procedure sometimes works, it has its limits. 
It doesn’t appear very sympathetic and real conversations are made more difficult. You better address the behavior and clarify the rules for further communication.

 

 

 

20 tips on how to speak without being interrupted

 

 

Reduce the likelihood to be interrupted

 

You do not have to accept to be interrupted while you speak. Finally, professional communication should be possible. The following recommendations can help you to defend yourself confidently against the interruption of a conversation, or even to prevent it altogether.

 

 

1. Prevention is better than aftercare

 

Prevent interruptions in advance through your entire appearance and behavior. A sovereign appearance reduces the probability of attacks. Make it clear that you can not be diverted from the path. Do not make it so easy for opponents. If you are more likely to be distracted, the likelihood of further interruptions increases. So always keep the big picture in mind!

 

 

 

2. Have something relevant to say

 

Someone with a reputation to waste time in meetings will be interrupted more often. Therefore, it is better to say nothing than say something that is not particularly relevant. In such a case, there is a high chance that you will be publicly interrupted. On the other hand, when having the reputation to deliver relevant contributions, you have full attention.

 

 

 

3. Make it easier for the listeners

 

Some people have something to contribute, but they cannot present it in such a way that it is immediately understood. Make it easier for the audience to enjoy listening to you and your message. Get your message across to the people. Focus on clear and convincing communication. This includes a clear speech structure, even for short speeches. Support your message verbally and non-verbally. The physical act of gesturing helps you form clearer thoughts and speak in tighter sentences with more declarative language.

 

 

 

4. Fighting for the status of the top dog

 

Interrupting is a way to demonstrate power in interpersonal situations. Cutting in while someone else is speaking can be a way of asserting dominance over someone. It is like fighting for the status of the top dog. The spectacle may be funny to watch for the audience but is usually not good for your reputation. Accordingly, it is better to distance yourself from such nonsense without having disadvantages. Show teeth and smile!

If you get into a power struggle, where the other person is using a power interrupt, then it may be time to exercise your power, for example by using one of the other techniques on this page.

 

 

 

5. Know your priorities

 

Knowing your goals and priorities makes it easier for you to keep focus and not get distracted. This signals that you can not be diverted from the path. Attempts to prevent you from talking become useless.

 

 

 

6. Stay focused

 

Interrupting someone works so well only because you are torn from your thoughts. It is not just the speech, but above all the concentration is interrupted. The person who interrupts then receives full attention and has achieved his goal. You can prevent this behavior – even for future situations – by not engaging in the distraction. Without proper attention, the incentive to interrupt others is lost.

 

 

 

7. Keep the right eye contact

 

Another good strategy to avoid being interrupted is constant eye contact with those you speak with. Some people are waiting for the right time to express their opinions and to interrupt someone. Through constant eye contact, however, you create a conversation situation that signals that there is still no opportunity for an interruption.

For chronic interrupters, you can use the power stare. Power staring means looking for longer than the normal glance. Look directly in the eyes of such a person while presenting high-status body language. This signals that you are not willing to give up control as yet.

Be careful and don’t send inviting signals with your eye contact.

 

 

 

8. Address the behavior

 

Frequent and aggressive interrupting, without showing respect, is destructive. However, if someone stops you or even interrupts you, stay as friendly as possible and confront them directly with their behavior. It is legitimate to say, “You have just interrupted me, please let me continue till I close my speech.” Make clear that you do not accept such behavior. Doing that also shows that you can assert yourself.

 

 

 

9. Voluntarily provide space for others

 

Voluntarily giving space to other people projects that you believe to respect, and it communicates sovereignty, enhances personal status.

 

 

 

10. Body language

 

The effective use of body language plays a key role in communication. Body language signals what we think. It also reveals what we do not want to say. We signal how self-confident we are. Better send strong messages about you. Indicate that an interrupt will be met with a powerful response.

Use powerful body language like expanding our body space with larger gestures and power poses. Touching others is also a status signal.

11. Ignore the interruption

 

Granted, it’s not the finest way to deal with an interruption. But it can be effective with some penetrating interferes who are already known to inappropriately interfere in conversations. Just ignore the interjections of such people and continue the conversation with confidence. It helps if your other valued conversation partners also ignore the interruption.

 

 

 

12. Have a clarifying conversation

 

Consider that many chronic interrupters do not know that they are chronic interrupters or underestimate the impact. Your relationship with the interrupter affects the type of response. If it is possible and useful, have a fundamental conversation about future communication.

The best time for a clarifying conversation with the interrupter is sometime later, when the first anger has been sufficiently reduced, and you can concentrate on the essentials. Ask the interrupter to talk privately and talk about how you perceived the behavior. Mention that you felt the interruption to be disrespectful and expect different behavior from now on.

Tip: In role-playing games, this can be practiced very well beforehand.

 

 

 

13. Be careful with pauses

 

Be careful with pauses because they allow others to interrupt them. Many people interpret pauses as invitations to speak now. Such caution, however, has the disadvantage that you may not have the effect of dramatic pauses. Those who constantly try not to take breaks appear rushed and insecure. This reduces one’s own status, and whoever practices something like this doesn’t seem as competent anymore.

 

 

 

14. Don’t send the wrong signals

 

Be careful with signals that can be considered as an invitation to interrupt you. Avoid the following misleading signals.

  • An inviting, open body language.
  • Raising eyebrows
  • Submissive body language
  • Speaking slower
  • Speaking quieter

 

 

 

15. Stay balanced

 

Interruptions can be very outrageous, but rampant anger and outbursts of rage are rarely recommended reactions. Of course, you can get excited about an interruption, shout at the unfriendly person and then continue the conversation, still snorting with rage. Such behavior, however, puts you on a par with the interrupter and does not leave the impression you want to leave on your valued conversational partners.

 

 

 

16. Interrupt the interrupter

 

In extremely rare cases, it may help to interrupt chronic interrupters when they talk. This may provide you with a better starting point for clarifying conversations about future communication. However, this is a risk to your reputation. Observers may think your behavior is questionable and accuse you of a bad communication style.

 

 

 

17. Speed up

 

Speaking a little faster will make it harder to interrupt you. The downside is that it will be harder for listeners to follow you. Moreover, rushed talking will sound less confident.

 

 

 

18. Speak louder

 

Increase the volume at which you talk when someone tries to interrupt you. As good as this works, as unpleasant it can be for the audience. It tends to sound more aggressive. In addition, constantly more intensive use of voice reduces the variety of vocal possibilities. A varied voice is much more pleasant and effective when it comes to convincing.

 

 

 

19. Keep your voice down

 

In the eagerness of an emotional conversation, be careful not to develop a higher voice. Stress tends to increase voice pitch, which appears less competent and powerful. Be careful that your voice does not remain on top at the end of the sentence. If your voice doesn’t go down at the end of the sentence, then what you say sounds more like a question than a statement. This increases, among other things, the likelihood of interruptions.

 

 

 

20. Practice, practice, practice

 

Improving communication skills requires constant practice. You can also benefit from experts who coach and train you.

Why do people interrupt others?

 

It is important to understand the motivations behind the bad habit of interrupting other people. Here are some of the most common reasons for interrupting:

 

  • Enthusiasm
    Someone is excited or passionately eager for the current topic, which can make waiting for the appropriate opportunity difficult.
  • Lack of self-awareness
    Some people just do not realize that they interrupt others or that it is bad behavior. They may be so busy with their insecurity that they don’t realize it.
  • Fear of forgetting
    Instead of actively listening, it seems to be important to deliver an idea right now before it is forgotten.
  • Ego
    The strong desire to prove expertise to peers or superiors on a topic being discussed.
  • Need for belonging
    Someone wants to be part of the conversation, but there are no breaks in the conversation.
  • Cooperative interruption
    The reason may be a good intention. For example, it is an attempt to relate to the person who is speaking; by making positive affirmations or sharing perspectives.
  • Competition
    It can be an attempt to change the subject to support one’s agenda or to gain the attention of the audience.
  • Gender (Manterrupting)
    Men interrupt women much more often than other men. That is less today than many years ago, but it is still a reality.
  • Environment / Culture
    In some contexts, the phenomenon of interruption is a common experience that is not questioned. Because many others also interrupt, it seems normal and in order.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

How do you make sure you do not get interrupted when you talk?

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These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

What kind of people don’t let you finish your talk? In a good conversation, everyone has his part. Everyone can talk and let the other talk. But why are some people interrupted so often and what can be done about it? Here are some tips to reduce the likelihood to be interrupted while you speak.

read more
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Being a good listener can help you to see the world through the eyes of others. It enriches your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. Listening increases your contact with the outside world by helping you improve your communication skills.

read more
17 signs that someone is a manipulator

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Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

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Ask better questions, and as a result, you get better answers. Questions are the best way to gain more perspectives and develop more innovative solutions. Here are some recommendations for better questions because they lead to insights, creativity, and excellent leadership.

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36 indications to identify narcissists

36 indications to identify narcissists

Narcissists are driven primarily by power, fame, and recognition. That’s not bad, right? If there weren’t so many people with narcissistic tendencies, there wouldn’t be many achievements and world records. However, we would not have to suffer from many disadvantages. As fascinating as narcissists may seem at first glance, they are in reality selfish and emotionally cold. Only their self-pity is boundless. Only the others make mistakes.

In the article, you will learn how to identify narcissists.

read more
Respect yourself and others will respect you. Confucius

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 15, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/gespraeche-unterbrochen-werden-tipps-berlin/
K:
H:
T: RR
#232

Are you a good listener? 15 tips for active listening.

Are you a good listener? 15 tips for active listening.

You can win more friends with your ears than you can with your mouth
Are You A Good Listener?

Active listening

 

Most people appreciate a good listener, but most prefer to speak for themselves rather than listen. Active listening can be easy, the article tells you how.

Overview

To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.

François de La Rochefoucauld

Listen closely

 

Hearing more than talking – that’s what nature teaches us:
It gave us two ears, but only one tongue.

Gottfried Keller

 

Being a good listener can help you to see the world through the eyes of others. It enriches your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. Listening increases your contact with the outside world by helping you improve your communication skills.

 

What do you think about the next saying?

You can win more friends with your ears than you can with your mouth.

 

 

 

Listening leads to insights

 

Good listening skills can provide you with a deeper level of understanding about others and their situation. It helps you to choose your communication style. It tells you what words are best to use or which words to avoid.

 

 

 

Hearing isn’t enough

 

Being a good listener does not come easy for some of us. Listening is not the same as hearing. It means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Your ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages. And it massively depends on the ability to build rapport.

 

 

 

Active listening

 

Most people appreciate a good listener. But in practice, most people prefer to speak for themselves rather than listen to others. It is probably not so easy for everyone to listen to other people. But it is worthwhile to pay honest attention to those you are talking to.

Active listening does not turn anyone into a passive person who patiently follows endless explanations without ever getting a chance to speak for himself. Active listening helps to improve communication in general and to make one’s messages heard. Genuine listening is the best way to gain trust and sympathy and to build relationships.

15 tips for active listening

 

The art of conversation lies in listening, and here is how:

 

 

1. Pay attention to your mental state

 

If the state of mind is too agitated, listening won’t work. So, first, make sure that they are mentally ready.

 

 

 

2. Read between the lines

 

A large part of communication is non-verbal. Keep an eye on the body language of your interlocutor. While you are listening, your brain only needs a small part of its capacity. The rest is free to formulate an answer and listen better.

 

 

 

3. Pay attention to your body language

 

Especially less good and impatient listeners are often too busy to speak. And then it easily happens that the body language communicates something different from intended. There is a restless sliding back and forth on the chair, arms or legs crossed, clearing the throat. It is precisely the signals of impatience that do not encourage us to continue talking, but interrupt thoughts that otherwise take place.

 

 

 

4. Avoid distractions

 

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. It helps to put the smartphone aside, to turn it off quietly, to be completely attentive. Choosing a suitable environment also makes it easier for everyone involved to concentrate.

 

 

 

5. Never interrupt

 

One of the most sincere forms of respect is listening to what another has to say. The interruption of the interlocutor or even the completion of his sentences is disrespectful.

 

 

 

6. Ask questions

 

It makes sense to ask reflective questions, not only to check whether you have understood everything correctly. Asking questions helps to formulate questions and answers in a more targeted way. It is therefore worth asking questions in between.

 

 

 

7. Consider the body language of the interlocutor

 

Pay attention to the body language of your counterpart. Register micro gestures or other clues, such as nervous bouncing of the foot under the table. In some situations, you can even respond to your observations. If you do this cautiously, the person you are talking to will be more likely to open up, because they will feel taken seriously, and you will enjoy more trust.

 

 

 

8. Keep eye contact

 

With your eye contact, you signal interest and that you are with the thing.

 

 

 

9. Avoid justification

 

Even experienced listeners run the risk of switching off as soon as their ideas and convictions are questioned or criticized. In this situation, cross-pollinating and formulating justifiable answers instead of listening misses information, insight, and the chance to defuse emerging conflicts.

 

 

 

10. Rephrasing

 

Elegant paraphrasing is the perfect way to solve problems or make plans. Estimate what your conversation partner thinks or feels, and briefly summarize what has already been saying. Show empathy.

 

 

 

11. Taking breaks

 

Take a break. For example, to absorb what has been said and think about it. You will appear more deliberate and give better answers later.

Who makes a short break before answers, makes it easier for the interlocutor to add something to his statement. Before each answer, count up to four in your head until you automatically take the breaks.

 

 

 

12. Don’t be a know-it-all

 

A good listener is interested in long-term and viable solutions, rather than quick effects that only flatter his ego. Avoid advice, especially unsolicited advice. Everything else is latently intrusive and as if you were a know-it-all.

 

 

 

13. Enjoy the silence

 

If you make listening and observation of your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talking. Listen longer than you talk. People who practice this are perceived as more intelligent and sympathetic.

 

 

 

14. Hearing what isn’t said

 

One of the most interesting in communication is hearing what isn’t said.

 

 

 

15. Practice, practice, practice

 

As simple as listening may seem, doing it well, takes sincere effort and lots of practice. Do you want to be someone that others want to talk to? If you want to know how to be a good listener, learn more about it.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

Are good listeners in conversations the rule or rather the exception? What do you mean? How about you? Do you appreciate having a conversation with a good listener?

Frequently asked questions

Why is active listening important?

Active listening is important when communicating because it ensures that you engage with the person you are talking to in a positive way. It also makes the other person feel heard and valued. This skill is the foundation for a successful conversation in any setting, whether at work, at home, or in social situations.

What is active listening?

Active listening, as the name suggests, means active attention. It means concentrating fully on what is being said and not just passively listening to the speaker’s acoustic message. It requires paying attention with all the senses, focusing fully on the speaker, actively showing verbal and nonverbal signs of listening.

What is the purpose of active listening?

Active listening helps to build trust and understand other people’s situations and feelings. This, in turn, enables one to offer support and empathy. Unlike critical listening, active listening is about understanding, not responding. The goal is to listen and affirm the other person and inspire them to solve their problems.

How can I improve my active listening skills?

There are many ways to improve your active listening. You can practice in coaching sessions, trainings and everyday situations.

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What kind of people don’t let you finish your talk? In a good conversation, everyone has his part. Everyone can talk and let the other talk. But why are some people interrupted so often and what can be done about it? Here are some tips to reduce the likelihood to be interrupted while you speak.

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Are you a good listener? 15 tips for active listening.

Are you a good listener? 15 tips for active listening.

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Ask better questions, and as a result, you get better answers. Questions are the best way to gain more perspectives and develop more innovative solutions. Here are some recommendations for better questions because they lead to insights, creativity, and excellent leadership.

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36 indications to identify narcissists

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Narcissists are driven primarily by power, fame, and recognition. That’s not bad, right? If there weren’t so many people with narcissistic tendencies, there wouldn’t be many achievements and world records. However, we would not have to suffer from many disadvantages. As fascinating as narcissists may seem at first glance, they are in reality selfish and emotionally cold. Only their self-pity is boundless. Only the others make mistakes.

In the article, you will learn how to identify narcissists.

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When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. - Ernest Hemingway

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: Februar 2, 2016
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/aktives-zuhoeren/
K:
H:
T: RR
#181

Freedom of speech, yes! Free speech comes with responsibilities.

Freedom Of Speech, Yes! Free Speech Comes With Responsibilities.

Free speech is a privilege and a responsibility
Free Speech Comes With Responsibilities

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

Freedom of speech

 

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. It sounds true, and it is true. And it is also not always right to hide behind that saying.

 

 

 

Overview

 

 

 

 

Some thoughts on the freedom of speech

 

If we don’t believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don’t believe in it at all. Well, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission!

Let’s think twice about that. It sounds true. And it is true. But what is missing here are the responsibilities. Because that saying also sets up a world where you have no responsibility for your speech.

I support the right to free speech. It is part of my profession when I support all those different people to present themselves and their offers. I believe in choosing to exercise that right responsibly and respectfully. Free speech comes with responsibilities. It is essential for society, and so is respect. Therefore, I recommend speaking carefully. Do your best to be kind. And don’t be radical unless it’s your last choice. Don’t be offensive!

The problem I see with the argument is that one person’s version of being offensive is very different from another. Be careful: When you hurt the values you want to protect, you lose your credibility. Walk your talk!

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

What do you think?

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Speech anxiety as an obstacle for your career

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Talk with people who let you see the world differently.

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#181

30 tips for communicating with narcissists. Dealing with narcissists. Too much is too much!

30 tips for communicating with narcissists. Too much is too much! Dealing with narcissists.

When communication might be a little easier ...
Narcism

Communication with narcissists

 

Tips for dealing with people who are overly in love with themselves, with narcissists. They can radiate charm and seem quite nice at first glance; narcissists. Many of them are eloquent, humorous, self-confident, and attract attention. But as good as the first impression may be, narcissists expose themselves as egomaniacs. With their unhealthy self-love and egocentrism, they then strain the nerves with their allure. Usually, there is no valuable content behind the packaging, but this is vehemently concealed. How to communicate and deal with narcissists without despair.

Video

42 Tips on how to deal with narcissists

Only when you start the video a connection to YouTube™ is established. Please read the notes on data protection.

Dealing with narcissists

 

Yes, they can radiate charm and seem quite nice at first glance; narcissists. Many of them are eloquent, humorous, self-confident, and attract attention. But as good as the first impression may be, narcissists expose themselves as egomaniacs. With their exaggerated self-love and egocentrism, they then strain the nerves of their fellow human beings with their allure. In most cases, the content is not worth the effort of packaging, but it is deceived. 
The beautiful appearance is deceptive and the façade collapses, all just a show. As long as a few admirers can still be found, narcissists won’t stop. They can be entertaining at short notice. Unfortunately, too many people let themselves be deceived, which is why narcissists too often manage to get into positions where they can do some damage.

 

 

 

Narcissists have an exaggerated desire for recognition

 

The exaggerated desire for recognition and admiration is caused by disturbed self-esteem. For such an ego, any stage is too small to be shared with others. Other people have only one right to be present anyway; as admirers!

Narcissists do without empathy. They also renounce any form of feedback towards you. The exception is praise, which is perceived as appropriate recognition. Dealing with narcissists is rarely a joy.

It is a great advantage to recognize such contemporaries at an early stage and avoid them. However, it may be that a situation requires you to communicate with a narcissist. Therefore, here are some recommendations that can sometimes save you a few gray hairs.

30 tips for communicating with narcissists

 

 

1. Recognize narcissists

 

The first step is to recognize narcissists as such. Even if a person feels particularly attractive, intelligent, or special in some other way, he or she does not have to have a narcissistic disposition.

A healthy portion of self-love, the ability to recognize and consider one’s own needs, self-confidence, and self-esteem belong to a sovereign personality. To a reasonable extent, these characteristics are neither harmful nor pathological. The quantity makes the poison.

The most negative characteristics of narcissists are often not recognized as such in the beginning. Only with time and more frequent contact, do they become visible. Narcissists do not want to be perceived as mean, violent, mean, malicious, ruthless, or sadistic people. That is why they also press their aggression into socially acceptable forms. Narcissists present themselves from their best side before they turn out to be such. They hide their true intentions behind the façade. And they are usually very good at that.

Narcissists have a disturbed relationship between altruism and egoism, respect and ruthlessness, sensibility and hypersensitivity, especially their sense of self-worth and external value is disturbed. Thus the importance of one’s person is completely overrated, while all other persons are largely meaningless. They overestimate themselves and derive an unrealistic claim to the world from it. They constantly seek admiration, but react hypersensitively to criticism they receive. Empathy towards other people is unfamiliar to them. They think that they are not attacking, but are convinced that they are rightfully defending themselves.

To make it easier for you to recognize narcissists, here is a list of 33 references to a narcissistic personality.

 

 

 

2. Be very vigilant with eyes and ears

 

Be ready to listen a lot and very carefully. While narcissists prefer to talk about themselves, use your ability to read between the lines.

 

 

 

3. Frustration tolerance

 

Expect a low frustration tolerance. Narcissists are hardly capable of criticism and if they express understanding for other people, then it is often only disguised and comes back to you later. Narcissists react very quickly with anger because it is frequently part of their strategy.

 

 

 

4. Clarity

 

Be very specific with what you want. Offer as little leeway as possible for interpretations that can harm you.

 

 

 

5. Keep the focus

 

Don’t let the show distract you from what you’re about. Narcissists like to impose their rules on their surroundings. So that you do not spend yourself on trivialities, clarify your needs and priorities well. Keep an eye on your goal for the conversation.

Without giving in, it helps to ignore some statements and to react objectively instead of emotionally. Narcissists want to destabilize through provocations and enforce the rules of the game.

 

 

 

6. Motivation

 

Be aware of what your narcissistic interlocutor wants to achieve. Make it clear to him what his benefit is. Address the ego. The things that make narcissists so exhausting can also be used to steer them. Although narcissists themselves are extremely manipulative, their arrogance makes them comparatively easy to manipulate.

 

 

 

7. Expectations

 

They’re not gonna make narcissists right for long anyway. You can be tolerated for a short time. You should not expect more.

 

 

 

8. Beware of the meanest things

 

Narcissists are constantly trying to prove that they are the best and greatest in the world. Even that is not enough for them. To appear even bigger, they don’t tolerate competition next to them. So every supposed competitor is fought. In case of doubt, the narcissist will preventively hurt competitors wherever he can. By devaluing other people, he wants to appear even bigger and more unique.

 

 

 

9. Pay attention to your good mental condition

 

Make sure you have a good mental condition. This does not directly improve the conversation but reduces the risk of massive attacks. So smile as relaxed as possible and show a lot of patience without making involuntary concessions.

 

 

 

10. Written agreements

 

Opinions can change suddenly with narcissists and the whole effort is lost. Make agreements in writing. Write down everything you require so that you can use the protocols as needed. Narcissists are often very good at twisting things afterward. Therefore, you should confirm agreements in writing. You should not be surprised that you are not met with any sympathy for this.

 

 

 

11. Victim attitude

 

Communication at eye level? Forget it!

Narcissists are never to blame if something goes wrong. And they find more or less creative surprising reasons why others are to blame for something. Don’t let them manipulate you!

 

 

 

12. Unilateral rules

 

What rules? Narcissists act in the illusion that rules do not apply to them. They, on the other hand, have rules for other people, which they regularly change for their purposes if necessary.

 

 

 

13. Pay attention to your independence

 

Protect your position and take care of yourself. Narcissists are eager to expand their power to impose rules on you.

 

 

 

14. Praise

 

Narcissists are very receptive to praise. Praise when it is appropriate, and the narcissist will treat you more kindly. Only he may not have the impression you are exerting influence thereby.

 

 

 

15. Therapeutic offers for narcissists

 

How dare you? Narcissists are perfect, they have no problems, and other people have problems. So why should a narcissist be grateful if you want to help him with his behavior? So don’t try to offer narcissists psychotherapy, otherwise, you’ll need help yourself soon.

 

 

 

16. Ask instead of demanding

 

Ask little, expect little. Narcissists are more likely to respond to requests than to demands or even threats. Especially the easily offended type reacts extremely allergic to pressure.

 

 

 

17. Be careful with feedback

 

Direct accusations against narcissists usually end conversations immediately. Even narcissists react to harmless and cautious feedback as if they were harsh attacks. They react offended and insulted because it scratches their self-image. Then it rages internally and doesn’t calm down for a long time. The anger can lead however also easy to clear aggression.

To escape such unwelcome feedback, they like to surround themselves with submissive people, with flatterers who stabilize their illusions.

 

 

 

18. Don’t count on forgiveness.

 

Narcissists have a good memory for perceived offenses. They won’t forget them for the rest of their lives, and they are looking for revenge. This can make narcissists very dangerous, even after a long time.

 

 

 

19. Emotions

 

Apart from the negative emotions typical of narcissists, be vigilant when expressing emotions. Then I recommend caution. Narcissists are very good at pretending emotions when it serves their purposes. Body language is a means of manipulation for them.

 

 

 

20. Apologies

 

You can submit to the narcissist with proven apologies, he will not make a serious apology. Narcissists do not make mistakes themselves.

 

 

 

21. Feelings of guilt

 

Narcissists are anxious to make other people feel guilty. This unsettles other people, silences them, and makes them easier to manipulate. Despite the importance of self-reflection, be careful not to get self-doubt installed.

 

 

 

22. Envy

 

Are you happy about your success? Whether you have achieved something idealistic or material, narcissists react with envy. If you achieve something, you could distract the audience from the magnificence of the narcissist, and that will not be tolerated.

 

 

 

23. Be careful in your choice of words

 

In your formulations, you can orientate yourself on non-violent communication, according to Marshall B. Rosenberg. The model helps to keep communication as peaceful as possible. Narcissists, however, always tend to find annoyance, even when there is none.

 

 

 

24. Adjournments

 

If you don’t make any progress on communications, you’d better adjourn. Don’t let tantrums force you to make promises. You would regret that later.

 

 

 

25. Professional quick-wittedness

 

You also don’t have to make it unnecessarily easy for narcissists to have the last word. Maintain your quick-wittedness. Professional quick-wittedness tends to de-escalate and clearly shows limits, without a participant necessarily having to lose prestige.

The wrong form of quick-wittedness can, however, lead to lasting disturbances in the relationship.

 

 

 

26. Avoid narcissists if you can!

 

This is the most important hint: communicate with narcissists when it is not necessary. The otherwise praiseworthy human endeavor to bring about improvement through communication has little chance of success here. With narcissists, you may expect to be insulted, insulted, and embarrassed. You fantasize, create confusion to distract you, and narcissists can become very aggressive so that you learn through pain to show the expected one-sided respect.

 

 

 

27. Important conversations

 

Prepare critical conversations carefully. If the conversation can have significant consequences, professional help is worthwhile. I have often helped to prepare for communication with narcissists. A lot of feedback reminds me of how good this helps. For legal aspects, please ask a lawyer.

 

 

 

28. See the good aspects

 

Within certain limits, narcissists can be very helpful. Their assertiveness can also be used for good projects. But even then, the price that the environment pays must not be too high. Be careful!

 

 

 

29. Detecting manipulations

 

Narcissists are masters of manipulation. To avoid their influence, it is helpful to recognize their tricks. In my articles, I deal with how you recognize the most common manipulation techniques and how you recognize manipulators.

 

 

 

30. Superficiality

 

Narcissists orient themselves on their benefit and are otherwise rather superficial. Do not expect unselfish interest that is not part of a selfish intention.

Help in dealing with narcissists (no legal advice!)

 

It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day. In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Typically, a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough. Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.

As much as I would like to - with the large number of requests I receive, I keep the amount of volunteer help at a feasible level.

If you want professional support (in the areas I offer and this does not include any legal advice), then we can make an appointment. Either you come to me in Berlin or we make a telephone session or use the Internet with video support. This has proven to be very successful. Thanks to a real-time bank transfer, it is also possible to book appointments at short notice. We can make an appointment first or even easier and faster; you book your session and as soon as the fee is received, we find the next available appointment.

If it is about the psychological effects, I offer therapeutic help for people suffering from narcissists and coaching for other issues. You can find the fees here. Please note the reduced fees for therapeutic assistance for people suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Not all sufferers have the financial means to do this, I know. You can then at least use the comment function to exchange information with other sufferers. Sometimes I also answer questions there, occasionally even beyond that. I am aware of the suffering that can result from contact with narcissists. However, the day has only 24h, and therefore I ask for an understanding of my procedures. I am aware of the suffering that often results from contact with narcissists. That is why I offer a free telephone consultation every first Monday of the month from 9:00 to 12:00 for initial impulses. Please use exclusively the telephone number +49 (0)30 864 213 65 for this purpose. Calls outside these hours and on other telephone numbers exclusively in the context of the professional support mentioned.

So: Questions that may also interest other people, please ask in the comments. Some topics are of a more private nature and I offer professional support for them. Let's have a direct conversation about this. If you are interested in support, for organizational questions and appointments you can reach me personally best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.de), conditionally also by phone +49 (0)30 864 213 65., mobile +49 (0)30 864 213 65.

 

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

Beware of comments!

 

According to my purpose as a writer, I am responsible for writing and you as a reader are responsible for reading. If you now also write, and I have to read that, you will mess up everything here. Feel encouraged to do just that, I appreciate it!

P.S.

 

What experience have you had with narcissists?

Articles

Expecting apologies from narcissists

Again and again, non-narcissists are under the illusion of receiving an honest apology from narcissistic personalities. You should know; narcissists don’t really apologize and respond to such demands as if they were under attack.

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

read more
36 indications to identify narcissists

36 indications to identify narcissists

Narcissists are driven primarily by power, fame, and recognition. That’s not bad, right? If there weren’t so many people with narcissistic tendencies, there wouldn’t be many achievements and world records. However, we would not have to suffer from many disadvantages. As fascinating as narcissists may seem at first glance, they are in reality selfish and emotionally cold. Only their self-pity is boundless. Only the others make mistakes.

In the article, you will learn how to identify narcissists.

read more
As you can recognize narcissists:

 I have suffered, Jesus Christ has also suffered.
 But now I am well again. - Karsten Noack

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: October 1, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/zu-ist-zuviel-umgang-mit-narzissten/
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Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

How do you and your messages affect the audience?
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Self-perception and impact analysis

 

How do you affect people in conversations, speeches, and presentations, in interviews? We all have our blind spots. It has a good reason, because for experts, company representatives and politicians, the impact analysis is part of the preparation of a speech, presentation, statement, interview or discussion. To explore the effect before the real event has a lot of advantages. How do you and your message affect your audience? 

Do you know how you affect other people?

 

How do you interact with other people when you meet them? For example, how do you communicate in meetings and presentations? We communicate constantly. Yes, you too! And even if you do not intend to. Whether we want it or not; much of what we do or do not do is perceived and interpreted by others. Your messages are not always understood as you want them to be.

 

 

 

Professional impact analysis

 

For experts, many professional company spokespersons, company representatives, and politicians, the impact analysis is part of the preparation of a performance, such as speeches, presentations, statements, interviews, discussions. So you can explore the effect even before the performance in front of an audience. This will tell you in advance how you and your message will be perceived.

 

 

 

Honest and constructive feedback

 

The more influential your position in a company is, the more you are under observation. Then every moment becomes an appearance in front of an audience. Every detail gets meaning. Whether in the media, at events, and even in seemingly private situations; every word that is said and omitted can be interpreted. Every detail shapes the image that the public has in mind about you and your message.

  • How do you affect others?
  • How are you understood?
  • Which image do you convey?
  • In which aspects can you improve?

 

I will give you a useful picture of how you are perceived in public. This is particularly beneficial for executives and representatives of companies, associations, and political parties.

 

 

 

Impact analysis

 

Just a few thoughtless words in front of the audience, microphone, and camera can have consequences. For this reason, it is worthwhile to prepare carefully for important situations. For many professional company spokespersons, company representatives, and politicians, the impact analysis is part of the preparation.

Even many experienced speakers are not so experienced when it comes to media appearances. It does not belong to everyday life for everyone. To master such situations you need to be sovereign in front of the camera and studio situations, provocative journalist questions, and vehement attacks of an opponent in a debate or podium discussion.

Better safe than sorry. Afterward, we are often smarter, but then it is a bit too late. Better: An impact analysis provides a speaker with professional feedback before the actual event. Get feedback before the critics get their turn. Why should you take unnecessary risks? Why should you give up a successful performance? Prepare for crucial situations. Rehearse. Get feedback for it. This allows you to experience the impact beforehand and to optimize it if necessary.

 

 

 

Elements of impact analysis

 

  • Voice
  • Body language
  • Stage presence, enthusiasm, and credibility
  • Choice of words and style
  • Emotional response
  • Arguments and strategy
  • Red thread and structure
  • Key messages
  • Professional repartee
  • Risk analysis
  • Foreseeable effects
  • Act in front of a microphone and camera
  • Dealing with provocative questions and attacks

 

 

 

Your impact analysis

 

How are you perceived, and what can you improve to convincingly present yourself and your message?

Based on your impact analysis, you receive recommendations that help you to optimize your appearance. If you wish, you will receive targeted support for your sovereignty, charisma, and self-marketing for speeches and media appearances. I support you from the impact analysis, optimization up to the dress rehearsal, or even the accompaniment to the performance. You decide!

The impact analysis can be booked individually for 60 minutes or is the beginning of more comprehensive support for the preparation of an event. This is also possible with sessions via telephone or with video support.

You decide how extensive the analysis is. Many factors affect how you are perceived. Here are examples:

 

 

 

1. Direct analysis

 

A brief meeting is enough to get your first feedback on how you affect other people. You will learn from me immediately a lot about your verbal and body language effect, as well as ways to improve.

 

 

 

2. Evaluation of events

 

In addition to the direct analysis, various sources can be consulted; Recordings of interviews, TV appearances, speeches, social media, etc.

 

 

 

3. Qualitative interviews

 

Qualitative interviews with relevant target groups are used to analyze interesting aspects.

Then you will receive your personal and honest impact analysis. The whole truth or perception of your person!

 

 

 

4. Feedback

 

With this feedback and recommendations, you’ll have what you need to know when you choose to balance expectations with you and your demeanor to reach and convince your audience.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (It is up to you whether you enter personal data) or by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). Otherwise, you may reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

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P.S.

 

How well do you actually know yourself? What would you like to know about yourself and how you are perceived by other people?

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To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.

 Socrates

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 27, 2009
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/wie-wirken-sie-wirklich/
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T: RR
#1890

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