Why do narcissists lie so blatantly?

Chronic lying of narcissists

Chronic lying by narcissists


Why do narcissists lie so blatantly and so often?

Why do so many narcissists lie so brazenly?


Narcissists want to compensate for their low self-esteem by exaggerated self-portrayals. Their urge for attention and admiration is very strong and out of control. They, therefore, invent stories to make themselves look great. There can be only one. To make themselves look even better, they devalue other people, make them look bad. Where there is no fault to be found, they stage it. To achieve their goals, they have no restraint when it comes to lying. They seem to believe their lies, even not to consider them as such. What is this all about?






Attention: This article is not about the diagnosis of pathological narcissists, but about avoiding nasty people and not being exploited. For simplification, I call people with clearly narcissistic tendencies – whether women or men – narcissists in this article.




Only own interests count


Narcissists consider other people as objects – as a means to an end – and feel entitled to exploit them. Lies enable narcissists to present a false image of themselves to potential victims. Whether professionally, in business, privately; those who take the bait usually realize too late what the consequences are. The net quickly tightens.

Narcissists know what to do to make their victims lose the ability to make safe and appropriate decisions. They get involved in the relationship without realizing the danger that lurks. Once the targets are taken in, narcissists continue to cleverly weave lies with a dash of truth to ensure that their targets continue to play by their rules.






Narcissists also lie by withholding and selecting information. They lie as a form of gaslighting to extend their control over targets by making them constantly question and doubt themselves. They often frequently claim that they value and even love their targets. In doing so, they have little to no inhibitions.




Lack of ability or willingness to empathize


Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing because they lack normal human emotions or inhibitions. They are insensitive and bored, lack the willingness to show empathy for others, and feel neither shame nor remorse. This coldness of feeling also allows them to lie with minimal inhibitions.

Narcissists can look people straight in the eye while shamelessly lying to them. In doing so, they do not make a face, even when confronted with probing questions and evidence of previous deceptions. It is normal for them to deny lies, make excuses, and project their behavior onto others. Empathy is a means to an end, otherwise just dead weight.




They arouse pity


Narcissists also lie to make others feel sorry for them. They are out to abuse others. They exploit the natural desire of many people to help their fellow man. Furthermore, they use deception, sometimes a spark of truth, to create a plethora of fabricated problems. Common attempts at manipulation include faked illnesses and injuries, car accidents, and thefts. More often, they suffer at the hands of supposedly mean and even crazy people, such as ex-partners, former victims. The others are always responsible. In this way, they want to gain advantages and distract from their mean behavior.




Pathological chronic lying


Narcissists can be very cunning, sly, and resourceful in inventing lies. They are manipulative, deceitful, and unscrupulous to alienate their victims and influence observers. They start by lying about themselves, then move on to lying about their ex, their career, and their accomplishments. They lie about their feelings for you to quickly win you over and keep you loyal. Chances are that lies about you will then follow once you see through the game and want to leave.




Attempts to clarify


When asked about lies, further lies are to be expected from narcissists. Hindsight is unlikely, and they often fight exposure with all their might.




So what?


The sooner you recognize the deceitful game, the better. Find out how to recognize narcissists and how to protect yourself. Stay mindful.

Help dealing with narcissists (no legal advice!)


It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day. In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Typically, a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough. Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.

As much as I would like to - with the large number of requests I receive, I keep the amount of volunteer help at a feasible level.

If you want professional support (in the areas I offer and this does not include any legal advice), then we can make an appointment. Either you come to me in Berlin or we make a telephone session or use the Internet with video support. This has proven to be very successful. Thanks to real-time bank transfer, it is also possible to book appointments at short notice. We can make an appointment first or even easier and faster; you book your session and as soon as the fee is received, we find the next available appointment.

If it is about the psychological effects, I offer therapeutic help for people suffering from narcissists and coaching for other issues. You can find the fees here. Please note the reduced fees for therapeutic assistance for people suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Not all sufferers have the financial means to do this, I know. You can then at least use the comment function to exchange information with other sufferers. Sometimes I also answer questions there, occasionally even beyond that. I am aware of the suffering that can result from contact with narcissists. However, the day has only 24h, and therefore I ask for understanding for my procedures. I am aware of the suffering that often results from contact with narcissists. That is why I offer a free telephone consultation every first Monday of the month from 9:00 to 12:00 for initial impulses. Please use exclusively the telephone number +49 (0)30 864 213 65 for this purpose. Calls outside these hours and on other telephone numbers exclusively in the context of the professional support mentioned.

So: Questions that may also interest other people, please ask in the comments. Some topics are of a more private nature and I offer professional support for them. Let's have a direct conversation about this. If you are interested in support, for organizational questions and appointments you can reach me personally best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.de), conditionally also by phone +49 (0)30 864 213 65., mobile +49 (0)30 864 213 65.

Just ask me personally


Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional help?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.






I have read and accept the privacy policy.


In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.



Why do narcissists lie so blatantly and so often?​?


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

When you submit this form, it will save the used name, email address, and content. Find out more in the privacy policy.


17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

Expecting apologies from narcissists

Expecting apologies from narcissists

Again and again, non-narcissists are under the illusion of receiving an honest apology from narcissistic personalities. You should know; narcissists don’t really apologize and respond to such demands as if they were under attack.

read more
Narcissistic parents

Narcissistic parents

The extent to which parents with narcissistic tendencies are perceived as a problem varies significantly. Offspring are often unaware that narcissism is involved in the idiosyncratic relationship. This article is about this special relationship and what results from it.

read more
Compassion for narcissists?

Compassion for narcissists?

On some occasions, I stand up for people who suffer from narcissistic personalities. Thus, I am frequently asked if I have no sympathy for narcissists. Here is my answer.

read more
Narcissists and feedback

Narcissists and feedback

People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism.

read more

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: May 20, 2020
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: September 23, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/narzissten-hilfe/

error: Copyright