Help, am I a narcissist? 8 indications that you are not a narcissist


Are you a narcissist?


Do you wonder if you are a narcissist yourself? Here are 8 indications that you are not a narcissist.


Help, am I a narcissist?


Those who have suffered from narcissists and have become aware of the issue tend to have additional concerns. Often the question gnaws at them whether they are narcissists themselves.

This is very common when one parent has strong narcissistic tendencies. In principle, the worry is a good sign, because narcissists do not see this as a problem.




Indications that you are not a narcissist


Probably everyone has qualities in themselves that suit narcissists. Quantity and combination cause toxicity.

Here in a nutshell a few hints that you are not a narcissist:




1. Friends


You have honest friends. Your friends may also give you uncomfortable feedback without being removed from your contact list. Narcissists have admirers around them at best.




2. You listen


You listen because you care about other people and their needs.




3. Authenticity


You are authentic. Narcissists deceive and masquerade when it matters. As trained manipulators, narcissists know how to get their environment to do what they want.




4. You do like people


You know, other people are an enrichment for the world.



5. You can ask for help


You ask other people for help when needed and you let yourself be supported. Narcissists have the wisdom for themselves and accept only stooges and no experts.




6. Benevolence and the ability to enjoy the happiness of other people


You can be happy for other people. Narcissists are jealous when other people achieve or possess something that, from their point of view, only they are entitled to.




7. the ability to accept criticism


You are willing to admit your mistakes and apologize honestly. Narcissists do not allow their flawless self to get a dent.




8. Eye-level


You meet other people at eye level and can delegate responsibility if necessary. The ability to act as a team player is a clear indication not to have too dominant narcissistic tendencies.

Still no all-clear, tangible relief?


Individual criteria that belong to the overall picture of a narcissist can be found in many people. Narcissists, under whom people suffer, usually fulfill a variety or even almost all criteria.

Are you honestly worried about being a narcissist? Then it is highly likely that you aren’t!

Read 36 tips for identifying narcissists and 30 tips for communicating with narcissists. If you want help in dealing with narcissists, you can find more information here.

Help dealing with narcissists (no legal advice!)


It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day. In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Typically, a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough. Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.

As much as I would like to - with the large number of requests I receive, I keep the amount of volunteer help at a feasible level.

If you want professional support (in the areas I offer and this does not include any legal advice), then we can make an appointment. Either you come to me in Berlin or we make a telephone session or use the Internet with video support. This has proven to be very successful. Thanks to real-time bank transfer, it is also possible to book appointments at short notice. We can make an appointment first or even easier and faster; you book your session and as soon as the fee is received, we find the next available appointment.

If it is about the psychological effects, I offer therapeutic help for people suffering from narcissists and coaching for other issues. You can find the fees here. Please note the reduced fees for therapeutic assistance for people suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Not all sufferers have the financial means to do this, I know. You can then at least use the comment function to exchange information with other sufferers. Sometimes I also answer questions there, occasionally even beyond that. I am aware of the suffering that can result from contact with narcissists. However, the day has only 24h, and therefore I ask for understanding for my procedures. I am aware of the suffering that often results from contact with narcissists. That is why I offer a free telephone consultation every first Monday of the month from 9:00 to 12:00 for initial impulses. Please use exclusively the telephone number +49 (0)30 864 213 65 for this purpose. Calls outside these hours and on other telephone numbers exclusively in the context of the professional support mentioned.

So: Questions that may also interest other people, please ask in the comments. Some topics are of a more private nature and I offer professional support for them. Let's have a direct conversation about this. If you are interested in support, for organizational questions and appointments you can reach me personally best by e-mail (, conditionally also by phone +49 (0)30 864 213 65., mobile +49 (0)30 864 213 65.

Just ask me personally


Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional help?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail ( You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.






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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 20th, 2023
Translation: ./.
German version:

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