Help, am I a narcissist? 8 indications that you are not a narcissist


Are you a narcissist?


Do you wonder if you are a narcissist yourself? Here are 8 indications that you are not a narcissist.


Help, am I a narcissist?


Those who have suffered from narcissists and have become aware of the issue tend to have additional concerns. Often the question gnaws at them whether they are narcissists themselves.

This is very common when one parent has strong narcissistic tendencies. In principle, the worry is a good sign, because narcissists do not see this as a problem.



Indications that you are not a narcissist


Probably everyone has qualities in themselves that suit narcissists. Quantity and combination cause toxicity.

Here in a nutshell a few hints that you are not a narcissist:




1. Friends


You have honest friends. Your friends may also give you uncomfortable feedback without being removed from your contact list. Narcissists have admirers around them at best.




2. You listen


You listen because you care about other people and their needs.




3. Authenticity


You are authentic. Narcissists deceive and masquerade when it matters. As trained manipulators, narcissists know how to get their environment to do what they want.




4. You do like people


You know, there are also other people who are an enrichment for the world.



5. You can ask for help


You ask other people for help when needed and you let yourself be supported. Narcissists have the wisdom for themselves and accept only stooges and no experts.




6. Benevolence and the ability to enjoy the happiness of other people


You can be happy for other people. Narcissists are jealous when other people achieve or possess something that, from their point of view, only they themselves are entitled to.




7. the ability to accept criticism


You are willing to admit your mistakes and to apologize honestly. Narcissists do not allow their flawless self to get a dent.




8. Eye-level


You meet other people at eye level and can delegate responsibility if necessary. The ability to act as a team player is a clear indication not to have too dominant narcissistic tendencies.

Still no all-clear, tangible relief?


Individual criteria that belong to the overall picture of a narcissist can be found in many people. Narcissists, under whom people suffer, usually fulfill a variety or even almost all criteria.

Are you honestly worried about being a narcissist? Then it is highly likely that you aren’t!

Read 36 tips for identifying narcissists and 30 tips for communicating with narcissists. If you want help in dealing with narcissists, you can find more information here.

Help in dealing with narcissists (no legal advice!)


If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.

Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. All these possibilities work very well and have already helped many people.

It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day.

In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Often a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough.

Every day, I get many inquiries. Some have only one question, others send long question lists, some even call me at night. As much as I would like to help voluntarily, my calendar doesn't allow that anymore. I know, that not everyone has the financial means for professional help. You can then at least use the comment function to discuss issues with other people. Sometimes I also answer questions in the comments. However, the day is full at some point and I ask for your understanding. I am aware of the psychological strain that often results from contact with narcissists.

Just ask me personally


Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training, or consulting, for organizational questions and to make an appointment, you can reach me best by e-mail ( You can reach me by telephone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 and mobile phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany, then. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will call you back as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. Therefore you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.



What experiences do have you with narcissists? Do you found signs to have elements of a narcissist?


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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: September 25, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version:

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