Narcissists and feedback

Narcissists and feedback

People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism. They react offended and insulted because this could damage their self-image. At least inwardly they react angrily. However, anger can also easily lead to significant aggression.

Overview

Feedback and narcissists

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When you express criticism to narcissists, they experience it like a massive physical attack. For narcissists, it feels like the destruction of their person. Depending on the relationship and context, the reaction is usually very exaggerated. This happens sooner or later. Sometimes the response can happen even much later when you no longer expect it. It can be overt or covert. However, one result is quite certain: narcissists do not forget even accidental attacks. They want revenge at any price.

Is it worth it?

Even from your point of view, harmless and constructive feedback will be resented by narcissists. They perceive something like this as an insult and take it personally. So, be careful and exercise extreme tact and sensitivity, just as a bomb disposal expert would.
Before you address issues, think about whether you want to do this despite the risks. Insight is usually not to be expected from narcissists. Depending on the situation, you should at best expect hypocritical insight, excuses, blame, or emotional reactions such as outbursts of rage.

Emotional reactions

Stay calm during outbursts of rage by narcissists. It is part of the preferred behavioral repertoire of narcissistic personalities. Such people know how to manipulate others. Learn to recognize their manipulation techniques.

Caution

If, despite the risks, you dare to criticize a narcissist, then wrap it up well. Feed narcissists with a lot of acceptable praise. The subsequent criticism should be given in small doses. Do you find this exhausting? So do I!

In any case, there is one thing you can forget about: changing narcissistic personalities. You won’t bring them to insights or establish a relationship at eye level. These are pointless attempts.

Compassionate Support for Those Affected by Narcissists

(Note: This is not legal advice—consult a legal professional for legal issues.)

Understanding the Challenge

Dealing with narcissistic individuals can lead to intense emotional pain, confusion, and exhaustion. I understand that many of you are facing an overwhelming situation, feeling isolated and unsure where to turn. My goal is to provide you with clear, compassionate support to help you regain control and navigate through this challenging time.

Immediate Support and Appointment Options

If you need urgent help, I strive to be available at short notice, often even on the same day. This is possible thanks to immediate bank transfer options. A 60-minute phone call is typically sufficient to address urgent concerns, provide support, and create clarity. You have several options for appointments:

• In-person meetings: Available in Berlin.
• Phone consultations: Flexible and convenient.
• Video sessions: Internet-based video conferencing for a face-to-face experience.

If you are looking for guidance in making decisions, communicating effectively, or managing emotional distress due to narcissistic relationships, I am here to arrange a session that suits your needs.

Booking an Appointment

Due to the high volume of requests, my volunteer assistance must remain limited. However, I am committed to providing professional support—whether you need therapeutic help or coaching (excluding legal advice).

Appointments can be booked:

• In person in Berlin.
• Via telephone or video conferencing.

For your convenience, sessions can be arranged quickly thanks to real-time bank transfers. You may schedule an appointment first or, for even faster service, book directly. Once the fee is received, we will find the next available slot to suit your schedule.

Therapeutic Support and Reduced Fees

If you are experiencing the psychological effects of narcissistic abuse, I offer specialized therapeutic support. My goal is to help you overcome the confusion and pain caused by narcissistic relationships. Additionally, reduced rates are available specifically for therapeutic assistance related to narcissistic abuse, as I recognize the burden these experiences can place on your well-being.

Financial Limitations and Alternative Support

I understand that not everyone has the financial means to afford professional support. In such cases, I invite you to use the comment section as a platform to connect and share experiences with others facing similar challenges. I occasionally provide responses there, offering guidance that may help you move forward.

To further assist, I offer a free initial consultation by phone on the first Monday of each month, from 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM. This is my way of giving back and helping those in need of immediate guidance. To access this free service, please call +49 (0)30 864 213 65. Note that calls outside these hours or to other phone numbers will be handled exclusively as part of professional support.

Questions and Private Concerns

For questions that could benefit others, feel free to ask in the comment section. Sharing these questions helps others understand that they are not alone and provides collective insights. For more private matters, I am available for professional support.

To arrange an appointment, discuss support options, or address organizational questions, please reach out via email at mail@karstennoack.com or better please use the contact form.

A Final Note

Thank you for your understanding regarding my procedures and the limitations I face due to the high volume of requests. Your courage in seeking support is commendable, and I am here to provide guidance, compassion, and clarity on your journey.

Be ready for important conversations and negotiations

Communication can be easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say one thing and then realize later, based on the other person's reaction, that they were talking to someone else. With the best will in the world, I didn't say that. - Or did I?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen quickly enough, and above all, if it isn't precise and vivid, the other person quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. - The conversation has failed.

You can let me help you prepare for your meetings and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will train you effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and ultimately convince.

Contact Me for More Information

If you have specific questions or want to know more about how I can help, just ask me directly. For questions that might interest others, please feel free to post them in the comments section below.

Looking for Professional Support?

If you're interested in coaching, training, or consulting, have organizational questions, or would like to schedule an appointment, the best way to reach me is through this contact form (where you can choose whether to provide your personal data) or by email at mail@karstennoack.com. You can find the privacy policy here.

Transparency and Frequently Asked Questions

Transparency is important to me. To help you get started, I've provided answers to frequently asked questions about myself (profile), the services I offer, fees, and the process of getting to know me. If you like what you see, I'd be delighted to work with you.

Remarks:

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Related Articles

• Help dealing with a narcissist
• Help, am I a narcissist? 8 indications that you are not a narcissist
• 17 signs that someone is a manipulator
• Stop it, I hate that: Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques
• What effort and cost for the preparation of a conversation or negotiation are justified?
• Prepare your conversations and negotiations
• Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

P.S.

What experience have you had with narcissists?

Articles

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: November 19th, 2024
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/zu-ist-zuviel-umgang-mit-narzissten/
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