Expecting apologies from narcissistsLive your life, take good care of yourself
Expecting apologies from narcissists
Again and again, non-narcissists are under the illusion of receiving an honest apology from narcissistic personalities. You should know; narcissists don’t really apologize and respond to such demands as if they were under attack.
Narcissists strive to appear charming, confident, and even thoughtful. Although they invest some effort in the appearance, this has its limits. What goes too far is expecting personalities with clear narcissistic tendencies to offer insight and sincere apologies. Such things are far too disgusting to them, and they will fight against them.
This video is not about the diagnosis of pathological narcissists. It’s about avoiding nasty contemporaries and not letting them exploit you. For simplicity, I call people with clear narcissistic tendencies – whether women or men – narcissists here.
Ordinary people make mistakes —narcissists don’t. Someone has done something inappropriate from our point of view, and therefore we want at least an apology and insights. An understandable need.
Personalities, with an emotional maturity, approach such a situation with sincerity, openness and the desire to make amends – not so narcissists. For them, it is much more important to protect their shaky self-esteem, no scratch in the facade is allowed. The others are to blame.
Narcissists do not want to apologize in any case. They do not voluntarily repair the damage they have done and do not admit their mistakes. And then naive non-narcissists come and give themselves the illusion of getting an honest apology. This is unrealistic. Apologies are given at best for strategic reasons. Whether in private, professional or business life; honestly meant apologies require a willingness to learn and require social skills. The offspring of narcissists in particular suffer for a very long time – sometimes for a lifetime – as a result of their failure to apologize. It is important to take very good care of oneself here and to make good decisions. Narcissists do not take responsibility.
The shame of being forced to apologize leads to feelings of revenge. Sooner or later, this insolence is punished with compound interest. Narcissists make themselves the victim, and you are the perpetrator. If there is the opportunity, you will get the punishment for it, narcissists have a good memory for it. You should know that beforehand!
May such insights help you better understand what goes on in narcissists. Ultimately, it is your job to take care of yourself and the people you care about.
It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day. In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Typically, a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough. Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.
As much as I would like to - with the large number of requests I receive, I keep the amount of volunteer help at a feasible level.
If you want professional support (in the areas I offer and this does not include any legal advice), then we can make an appointment. Either you come to me in Berlin or we make a telephone session or use the Internet with video support. This has proven to be very successful. Thanks to real-time bank transfer, it is also possible to book appointments at short notice. We can make an appointment first or even easier and faster; you book your session and as soon as the fee is received, we find the next available appointment.
If it is about the psychological effects, I offer therapeutic help for people suffering from narcissists and coaching for other issues. You can find the fees here. Please note the reduced fees for therapeutic assistance for people suffering from narcissistic abuse.
Not all sufferers have the financial means to do this, I know. You can then at least use the comment function to exchange information with other sufferers. Sometimes I also answer questions there, occasionally even beyond that. I am aware of the suffering that can result from contact with narcissists. However, the day has only 24h, and therefore I ask for understanding for my procedures. I am aware of the suffering that often results from contact with narcissists. That is why I offer a free telephone consultation every first Monday of the month from 9:00 to 12:00 for initial impulses. Please use exclusively the telephone number +49 (0)30 864 213 65 for this purpose. Calls outside these hours and on other telephone numbers exclusively in the context of the professional support mentioned.
So: Questions that may also interest other people, please ask in the comments. Some topics are of a more private nature and I offer professional support for them. Let's have a direct conversation about this. If you are interested in support, for organizational questions and appointments you can reach me personally best by e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org), conditionally also by phone +49 (0)30 864 213 65., mobile +49 (0)30 864 213 65.
Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.
You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.
Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?
Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.
In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.
- Help dealing with a narcissist
- Compassion for narcissists?
- Help, am I a narcissist? 8 indications that you are not a narcissist
- 17 signs that someone is a manipulator
- Stop it, I hate that: Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques
- What effort and cost for the preparation of a conversation or negotiation are justified?
- Prepare your conversations and negotiations
- Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?
What to do if co-founders in the startup have a narcissistic personality?
What to do when toxic people cross boundaries? Here are suggestions you can use to set clear boundaries for such contemporaries.
Why do narcissists lie so blatantly and so often?
Learn how to recognize manipulation and choose counter-strategies. Here are descriptions of eleven types of manipulation techniques including body language.
The extent to which parents with narcissistic tendencies are perceived as a problem varies significantly. Offspring are often unaware that narcissism is involved in the idiosyncratic relationship. This article is about this special relationship and what results from it.
On some occasions, I stand up for people who suffer from narcissistic personalities. Thus, I am frequently asked if I have no sympathy for narcissists. Here is my answer.
Why are so many narcissists in leadership positions and what are the consequences?
Do you wonder if you are a narcissist yourself? Here are 8 indications that you are not a narcissist.
People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism.
Psychological support for people who have suffered or are suffering from narcissists.
Tips for dealing with people who are overly in love with themselves, with narcissists. How to communicate and deal with narcissists without despair.
Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.
Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: September 28, 2020
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/narzissmus-eltern-kinder-liebe-beziehung/