Expecting apologies from narcissists

Expecting apologies from narcissists

Again and again, non-narcissists are under the illusion of receiving an honest apology from narcissistic personalities. You should know; narcissists don’t really apologize and respond to such demands as if they were under attack.

Overview

• Expecting apologies from narcissists
• Attention
• Apologies and insights
• Typical
• Revenge instead of apology
• Just ask me personally
• Related articles
• P.S.
• Comments

Expecting apologies from narcissists

Narcissists strive to appear charming, confident, and even thoughtful. Although they invest some effort in the appearance, this has its limits. What goes too far is expecting personalities with clear narcissistic tendencies to offer insight and sincere apologies. Such things are far too disgusting to them, and they will fight against them.

Attention

This video is not about the diagnosis of pathological narcissists. It’s about avoiding nasty contemporaries and not letting them exploit you. For simplicity, I call people with clear narcissistic tendencies – whether women or men – narcissists here.

Apologies and insights

Ordinary people make mistakes —narcissists don’t. Someone has done something inappropriate from our point of view, and therefore we want at least an apology and insights. An understandable need.
Personalities, with an emotional maturity, approach such a situation with sincerity, openness and the desire to make amends – not so narcissists. For them, it is much more important to protect their shaky self-esteem, no scratch in the facade is allowed. The others are to blame.

Typical

Narcissists do not want to apologize in any case. They do not voluntarily repair the damage they have done and do not admit their mistakes. And then naive non-narcissists come and give themselves the illusion of getting an honest apology. This is unrealistic. Apologies are given at best for strategic reasons. Whether in private, professional or business life; honestly meant apologies require a willingness to learn and require social skills. The offspring of narcissists in particular suffer for a very long time – sometimes for a lifetime – as a result of their failure to apologize. It is important to take very good care of oneself here and to make good decisions. Narcissists do not take responsibility.

Revenge instead of apology

The shame of being forced to apologize leads to feelings of revenge. Sooner or later, this insolence is punished with compound interest. Narcissists make themselves the victim, and you are the perpetrator. If there is the opportunity, you will get the punishment for it, narcissists have a good memory for it. You should know that beforehand!

So what?

May such insights help you better understand what goes on in narcissists. Ultimately, it is your job to take care of yourself and the people you care about.

Video

Help dealing with narcissists (no legal advice!)

It's urgent? Thanks to an immediate bank transfer, it is also possible to organize sessions at short notice, often even on the same day. In any case, you can orient yourself by reading the list with fees. Typically, a telephone call of 60 minutes is enough. Either you come to me in Berlin or we organize a telephone meeting or use the Internet with a video conferencing system. If you wish professional support for your decision-making, communication, or because you suffer emotionally from narcissists, then we can arrange an appointment.

As much as I would like to - with the large number of requests I receive, I keep the amount of volunteer help at a feasible level.

If you want professional support (in the areas I offer and this does not include any legal advice), then we can make an appointment. Either you come to me in Berlin or we make a telephone session or use the Internet with video support. This has proven to be very successful. Thanks to real-time bank transfer, it is also possible to book appointments at short notice. We can make an appointment first or even easier and faster; you book your session and as soon as the fee is received, we find the next available appointment.

If it is about the psychological effects, I offer therapeutic help for people suffering from narcissists and coaching for other issues. You can find the fees here. Please note the reduced fees for therapeutic assistance for people suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Not all sufferers have the financial means to do this, I know. You can then at least use the comment function to exchange information with other sufferers. Sometimes I also answer questions there, occasionally even beyond that. I am aware of the suffering that can result from contact with narcissists. However, the day has only 24h, and therefore I ask for understanding for my procedures. I am aware of the suffering that often results from contact with narcissists. That is why I offer a free telephone consultation every first Monday of the month from 9:00 to 12:00 for initial impulses. Please use exclusively the telephone number +49 (0)30 864 213 65 for this purpose. Calls outside these hours and on other telephone numbers exclusively in the context of the professional support mentioned.

So: Questions that may also interest other people, please ask in the comments. Some topics are of a more private nature and I offer professional support for them. Let's have a direct conversation about this. If you are interested in support, for organizational questions and appointments you can reach me personally best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.de), conditionally also by phone +49 (0)30 864 213 65., mobile +49 (0)30 864 213 65.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

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Related articles

• Help dealing with a narcissist
• Compassion for narcissists?
• Help, am I a narcissist? 8 indications that you are not a narcissist
• 17 signs that someone is a manipulator
• Stop it, I hate that: Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques
• What effort and cost for the preparation of a conversation or negotiation are justified?
• Prepare your conversations and negotiations
• Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

Beware of comments!

According to my purpose as a writer, I am responsible for writing and you as a reader are responsible for reading. If you now also write, and I have to read that, you will mess up everything here. Feel encouraged to do just that, I appreciate it!

P.S.

What do you think?

Articles

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.

Published: January 2, 2012
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: September 28, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/narzissmus-eltern-kinder-liebe-beziehung/
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