Those who want, misunderstand us
Selbst, wenn wir einer Botschaft die entsprechend verdiente Chance verschaffen ...
Limits of communication
Even if we provide a message with the appropriately deserved chance, it is not always communicated fairly. Then the best techniques and immense preparation help you only to a limited extent. Some hair can be found in every soup (German figure of speech), or conjured into it. What to do?
Overview
Those who want, to misunderstand us
It is not always easy to see if things are worth what they seem. So it is also with statements of people. There are people who can express themselves in a wonderfully chosen way while talking nonsense. Some have practiced smiling at their interlocutors, respectively at the audience, while they want to deceive them. And then there are honest people who have put a lot of thought into their speech, but are not skilled at expressing themselves in a way that their audience will immediately understand.
All that glitters is not gold! And it can be true the other way around and in all directions. Also, the intent or value of a message is not always immediately apparent. This makes it all the more important, as a listener, to pay closer attention to the messages, the messengers, and the contexts.
Even that is often not as easy as it would be desirable. First, some messengers don’t make it easy for us to understand the value of what they are offering. Second, our own beliefs and filters frequently make it even harder. Engaging openly with ideas requires the willingness and ability to do so. If on top of that, the personality or topic being represented is unappealing to me, only selective information reaches me and gets minimal or even no chance. Depending on the degree of self-reflection, personal development, and motivation, I will be more or less committed to exploring the idea or not.
If you have a message yourself, you would do well to express it in a way that is as understandable as possible, and suitable for the topic and the target audience. If the message deserves it, then the corresponding effort is worthwhile. And there is a lot that can be done to ensure that the message has the best possible chance of being understood and accepted. Just translating the message into the language of the audience, motivating them, and reducing possible misunderstandings can be quite a worthwhile effort.
However, even with the most extensive preparation, a message has no chance if the audience is not interested in understanding it, or at least not willing to admit it. For many reasons, they may be much more interested in twisting your words in some way. In this case, the best techniques and immense preparation will help you only to a limited extent. Some hair can be found in every soup, or conjured into it. The game is not always played fairly.
How likely this is, can often be seen in advance, if the willingness is there to look more closely.
The exchange with such people is quite one-sided because it is not about the best solution. In such a film, the only thing that can be done is to concentrate on not giving the opponents any unnecessary trump cards. Even if their tactics are very obvious and superficial, not everyone in the audience has to recognize that immediately. That would then damage your own message. Either such exchanges can be omitted altogether, or they have a different goal. In that case, communication no longer takes place for the purpose of convincing the interlocutors and finding a solution, but with a view to the effect on the audience.
If you want to present yourself and your message convincingly, it’s best to approach this systematically and explore perspectives early on. You can find out how to do this in the articles with links below.
Be ready for important conversations and negotiations
Communication can be easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say one thing and then realize later, based on the other person's reaction, that they were talking to someone else. With the best will in the world, I didn't say that. - Or did I?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen quickly enough, and above all, if it isn't precise and vivid, the other person quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. - The conversation has failed.
You can let me help you prepare for your meetings and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will train you effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and ultimately convince.
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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.
Published: April 30, 2020
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: April 30, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/schluesselkompetenz-durchsetzungskraft/
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