Don't ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!
Designing instead of emergency rescue
Conflicts don’t arise without a cause,
and don’t disappear until the cause is addressed.
Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!
When problem-solving everyday issues become a tug-of-war over who is right and who is wrong, then settling even the smallest of discussions becomes a battle. Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!
William James meant; “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is an attitude.” So far so good, but which one, please?
Fight or flight?
Conflict is a natural aspect of relationships. As human beings, we are primed to respond to stress with a “fight” or “flight” response. Often, neither of these choices is appropriate in today’s world. Therefore, we need to find a way to address conflict that is direct and assertive, while also respectful and diplomatic. Some people fear conflict and go to great lengths to avoid it, which can backfire and lead to emotional, relational, and medical problems. If handled effectively, conflict can be an opportunity for learning, growth, and positive change.
You can’t really win a conflict
You can’t really win a conflict. Winning a conflict is getting the outcome you want, regardless of what the other person wants, which can be gratifying, sure. But the problem is that the underlying issue has not been solved. It will simply reappear later over some other topic. Much better than winning a conflict in private and business life is resolving it.
How about you?
Think of your own life. Who are you in conflict with? Imagine working things out, to resolve those conflicts. Think of the impact on all your relationships. Peace starts with each of us, and sometimes we need to take the first step. As Gandhi once said, “We must be the change we wish to see in others.”
Be ready for important conversations and negotiations
Communication can be easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say one thing and then realize later, based on the other person's reaction, that they were talking to someone else. With the best will in the world, I didn't say that. - Or did I?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen quickly enough, and above all, if it isn't precise and vivid, the other person quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. - The conversation has failed.
You can let me help you prepare for your meetings and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will train you in effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and ultimately convince.
Present the benefits in the beginning of your pitch
There are many strategies to consider in opening your pitch. Think about it twice, because those first minutes can make or break you.
You should know Godwin’s Law in order not to fall into the trap
What is Godwin’s Law? And how does it relate to everyday communication, speeches, and presentations?
What effort and cost for the preparation of a conversation or negotiation are justified?
If you expect something from a conversation, it pays off to prepare accordingly. With a good conversation, a lot can be achieved and investments are worthwhile. So far so good. Which effort exactly is worthwhile?
Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?
How do you actually affect people in conversations, speeches and presentations, in interviews? Professional feedback helps. What insights does an impact analysis offer you?
17 tips for facial expressions in speeches and presentations
This article deals with what it is worth paying attention to as a speaker concerning facial expressions.
These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!
What kind of people don’t let you finish your talk? In a good conversation, everyone has his part. Everyone can talk and let the other talk. But why are some people interrupted so often and what can be done about it? Here are some tips to reduce the likelihood to be interrupted while you speak.
Public speaking: Keeping it simple doesn’t mean you’re stupid
One should choose the simplest explanation of a phenomenon, the one that requires the fewest leaps of logic. The more complex something is, the easier we should explain it.
17 signs that someone is a manipulator
Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.
Five fingers for a structured speech. Five-finger speech structure.
The five-finger speech structure step by step. Systematically build up statements, whether for speeches, presentations, or discussions.
Those who want, misunderstand us
Even if we provide a message with the appropriately deserved chance, it is not always communicated fairly. Then the best techniques and immense preparation help you only to a limited extent. Some hair can be found in every soup (German figure of speech), or conjured into it. What to do?
Being right at all costs. The price we pay for needing to be right.
Persuading without arguments, assertiveness, winning without consideration, knockout by nasty tricks, black magic, manipulating. It is a coveted feeling to be right.
Narcissists and feedback
People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism.
This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.
Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
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T: RR
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