Don't ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!Designing instead of emergency rescue
Conflicts don’t arise without a cause,
and don’t disappear until the cause is addressed.
Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!
When problem-solving everyday issues become a tug-of-war over who is right and who is wrong, then settling even the smallest of discussions becomes a battle. Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!
William James meant; “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is an attitude.” So far so good, but which one, please?
Fight or flight?
Conflict is a natural aspect of relationships. As human beings, we are primed to respond to stress with a “fight” or “flight” response. Often, neither of these choices is appropriate in today’s world. Therefore, we need to find a way to address conflict that is direct and assertive, while also respectful and diplomatic. Some people fear conflict and go to great lengths to avoid it, which can backfire and lead to emotional, relational, and medical problems. If handled effectively, conflict can be an opportunity for learning, growth, and positive change.
You can’t really win a conflict
You can’t really win a conflict. Winning a conflict is getting the outcome you want, regardless of what the other person wants, which can be gratifying, sure. But the problem is that the underlying issue has not been solved. It will simply reappear later over some other topic. Much better than winning a conflict in private and business life is resolving it.
How about you?
Think of your own life. Who are you in conflict with? Imagine working things out, to resolve those conflicts. Think of the impact on all your relationships. Peace starts with each of us, and sometimes we need to take the first step. As Gandhi once said, “We must be the change we wish to see in others.”
Preparation of important conversations and negotiations
Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.
You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.
You should know Godwin’s Law in order not to fall into the trap
When attackers lack arguments, things often get dirty. Unfair comparisons, like with the Nazis, are then meant to distract. Rhetoric can also be fair, but unfortunately, it frequently is not. What does Godwin’s Law mean? And how does it relate to everyday communication, speeches and presentations?
Those who want, misunderstand us
Even if we provide a message with the appropriately deserved chance, it is not always communicated fairly. Then the best techniques and immense preparation help you only to a limited extent. Some hair can be found in every soup (German figure of speech), or conjured into it. What to do?
Being right at all costs. The price we pay for needing to be right.
Persuading without arguments, assertiveness, winning without consideration, knockout by nasty tricks, black magic, manipulating. It is a coveted feeling to be right.
Present the benefits in the beginning of your pitch
There are many strategies to consider in opening your pitch. Think about it twice, because those first minutes can make or break you.
17 tips for facial expressions in speeches and presentations
This article deals with what it is worth paying attention to as a speaker concerning facial expressions.
Narcissists and feedback
People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism.
18 tips to increase your assertiveness
Assertiveness is based on persuasiveness. What needs to be convincing is inseparably linked to the person who wants to realize his or her intentions. In addition to the quality and attractiveness of the offer, a convincing presentation is also important. The way in which we are perceived has a great impact on our assertiveness and is a major factor in determining whether we gain trust and support or whether we encounter resistance. This not only applies in the professional context, but also in the private sphere.
Speaking with your hands in your pockets during conversations, speeches and presentations?
Where to put your hands in conversations and during presentations? Just put your hands in your trouser pockets and the problem is solved. Many inexperienced speakers think this is quite a good idea. I (and most of the audience) don’t think it’s so good. Why? This question will be answered.
How you doin’? Talking about diseases
The question “How are you?” is a constant one. Very few people answer it as a serious question. If, however, it is answered too personally, it overwhelms those who only ask out of habit or politeness. So, what do we do when we learn that a person we are talking to has a serious illness?
The first rule of rhetoric: Let us start with the basics of speaking.
Does everyone have to say something about everything? In my opinion, the most important rule of rhetoric and good communication style is that those who have nothing to say should shut up.
Tongue twisters from A to Z as training for voice, articulation and concentration
Tongue breakers are used to train dedicated speakers for speaking, articulation, and concentration.
The importance of showing appreciation: 10 good reasons to show appreciation
We all need to know that we’re important in other people’s lives. We need to be noticed and valued — in private and business life. Why do I believe that it is so important to show appreciation? Because…
This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.
Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019