You Want to Avoid Criticism?Use feedback instead avoiding it
The value of criticism
Is it really a good idea to avoid criticism at all costs? Could criticism have value?
To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing
Aristotle is correct; if you try to hide away to avoid criticism you won’t get anywhere. However, a typical attempt to avoid criticism is not to be seen and heard – flying under the radar. But even by hiding, you could still face criticism.
A fulfilled life is not about avoiding criticism. Criticism can also be a good sign. There is some evidence that if you don’t meet any critics in your way, you are probably not going in the right direction. On well-trodden paths …
You have enemies?
That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
It’s better to have honest criticism than to give or receive false praise. At least you know where you stand!
Better honest criticism than false praise! At least we know where we stand.
Criticism is usually bitter and hard to swallow. This also applies to constructive criticism, but it at least gets us ahead, it makes us better. Such kind of criticism – in the sense of feedback – should not only be welcome but even encouraged.
Some criticism is also not meant as a source of joy. There are more or less friendly people who have an innate or instilled tendency to concentrate solely on sore points and decompose ideas. They can be very harsh and do not promote motivation. The reasons are different and often of a personal nature, why you don’t want to find anything good in your idea. Often there are conflicts of interest that are not openly mentioned.
And there are these insensitive people with the urge to be ruthless. Some people don’t give a damn as long as they can destroy something. You can’t please them anyway, whatever you say or do. You better not let such people slow you down.
Instead of avoiding criticism, like the devil the holy water, take it rather as what it is; an additional perspective, the point of view of another person. No more and no less!
Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.
You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.
Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (email@example.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.
Published: April 7, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: January 1, 2021
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/sie-wollen-kritik-vermeiden/