You Want to Avoid Criticism?Use feedback instead avoiding it
The value of criticism
Is it really a good idea to avoid criticism at all costs? Could criticism have value?
There is no real way to avoid criticism
To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing
Aristotle is correct; if you try to hide away to avoid criticism, you won’t get anywhere. However, a typical attempt to avoid criticism is not to be seen and heard – flying under the radar. But even by hiding, you could still face criticism.
A fulfilled life is not about avoiding criticism. Criticism can also be a good sign. There is some evidence that if you don’t meet any critics in your way, you are probably not going in the right direction. On well-trodden paths …
You have enemies?
That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
It’s better to have honest criticism than to give or receive false praise. At least you know where you stand!
Criticism is seldom pleasant
Better honest criticism than false praise! At least we know where we stand.
Criticism is usually bitter and hard to swallow. This also applies to constructive criticism, but it at least gets us ahead, it makes us better. Such kind of criticism – in the sense of feedback – should not only be welcome, but even encouraged.
Some criticism is also not meant as a source of joy. There are more or less friendly people who have an innate or instilled tendency to concentrate solely on sore points and decompose ideas. They can be very harsh and do not promote motivation. The reasons are different and often of a personal nature, why you don’t want to find anything good in your idea. Often there are conflicts of interest that are not openly mentioned.
And there are these insensitive people with the urge to be ruthless. Some people don’t give a damn as long as they can destroy something. You can’t please them anyway, whatever you say or do. You better not let such people slow you down.
Instead of avoiding criticism, like the devil the holy water, take it rather as what it is; an additional perspective, the point of view of another person. No more and no less!
Preparation of important conversations and negotiations
Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?
More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.
You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.
Just ask me personally
Please post any questions that may interest other readers in the comments. Are you looking for professional support?
Transparency is important. Therefore, you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees, and getting to know me. If this suits you, I look forward to working with you.
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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.
Published: April 7, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 22nd, 2022
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/sie-wollen-kritik-vermeiden/
I prefer not to avoid feedback. It is important to speak about everything as fast as possible. Otherwise the problems become more uncomfortable.