Being right at all costs. The price we pay for needing to be right.
Thoughts on the consequences of exaggerated dialectics
Being right at all costs
Persuading without arguments, assertiveness, winning without consideration, knockout by nasty tricks, black magic, manipulating. It is a coveted feeling to be right.
Overview
Always being right
It is a popular feeling to be right. However, it is less a question of who is right than of who has the upper hand. For many people, it seems to be a satisfying experience to be the know-it-all, but what are the costs we aren’t counting?
To prevail at any cost seems to be a very old human desire. Even very dusty esoteric texts provide recipes on how it is possible to prevail at any cost. The approach ranges from magic elixirs with bat wings and rat tails to voodoo dolls from the mail-order business.
Persuading without arguments, assertiveness without any basis, winning without consideration, knockouts by nasty tricks, black magic, manipulating. To the bitter end, talking without having a clue…. Book stores and videos on YouTube also serve the longing for unfair assertiveness.
What’s the concern?
Now I could keep it with Arthur Schopenhauer. He said that if everyone unreservedly gave his position every support, then that would be the best way. After all, one often doesn’t know oneself whether one is actually right or not, and would find out that way. Up to a certain point, I even agree with him here. However, the desire to be right at all costs is usually not about finding out the best position in the end. Rather, it is about winning at any cost. So it is questionable in regard to attitude. What effect does it have on the world and on relationships when people behave in this way?
People who are really convinced of their position don’t need unfair tricks. Although, it is good to recognize them as such and to be able to neutralize them. But who believes that the result justifies the method, harms himself and the message.
But …
Someone could refer to examples from politics, where it has helped a questionable person in a considerably high position to move forward ruthlessly and without real arguments. And yes, it can be very sad.
That there are characters who try to do that is one thing. That a substantial audience goes along with it is another. The consequences, for the world, can be seen by anyone who watches the news.
We can decide for ourselves
Everyone can decide for themselves whether this is a desirable course of action. In any case, I will work to ensure that as many people as possible recognize such unfair methods and to know how to deal with them. Those who are in a position to do so will allow themselves to be disadvantaged and fight against dazzlers.
Let us rely on fair means to give arguments the chance they deserve. Those who wish to do so will find the right tips and support from me.
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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.
Published: March 6, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 20th, 2023
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/redestruktur-hand-finger/
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