One side of character is integrity

One Side of Character is Integrity

Personality and decision making

One side of character is integrity.
Integrity is being consistent in thoughts, words, and actions.

 

One Side of Character is Integrity

Overview

 

 

 

Definition: Character and Integrity

 

The definitions of these two words are often stretched or misrepresented.

 

 

Character

 

The character is the sum of qualities shown up in a person or group, moral or ethical strength, and the description of a person’s attributes, traits, and abilities. The character is who you are. It defines you and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.

 

 

Integrity

 

Having integrity means that you live in accordance with your deepest values; you’re honest, and you always keep your word.

Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, being unimpaired, sound, whole and undivided. C. S. Lewis meant; integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

 

So what?

 

When we live our lives with integrity, it means that we’re honest, and we let our actions speak for who we are and what we believe in. Integrity is a choice we make, and it’s a choice we must keep making, every moment of our lives.

People with integrity often have the same characteristics in common: they’re humble, they have a strong sense of self, they have high self-esteem, and they’re self-confident. These characteristics are important, because, sometimes, you’ll be under intense pressure from others to make the wrong choice.

To develop and protect your integrity, start by identifying your core values. These are the values that you refuse to compromise on, no matter what. Next, analyze every choice you make to ensure that you’re doing the right thing.

P.S.

 

What do you think about integrity?

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version: 
K: 
H: 
T: RR
#1890

Promises and integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Promises and Integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Do you walk your talk?
Promises and Integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Walk your talk 

 

Actions that follow words? Authenticity? Walk your talk? In a world in which we are not accustomed to doing that, this is quite remarkable.

Keeping promises

 

Making promises and keeping promises isn’t the same. Many people promise mountains but deliver molehills.

Although Shakespeare said “a promise made is a debt unpaid”, what is left of this attitude in today‘s world? More widely used today is probably the notion; promises cost nothing. And what about empty promises?

In particular, the advertising industry depicts that no one is really bothered about empty promises. Most people don’t take those promises for real. But this isn’t a new phenomenon.

“The message I hear well, but I have a little faith,” said Goethe. We have somehow become used to a lot of promises not being taken seriously. It is assumed that promises won’t be fulfilled or if so, only partly.

In some areas of business and marketing, the number of unrealistic promises made to us is absurd! Who truly believes that even the deepest wrinkles dissolve with anti-wrinkle creams? In TV ads tricks and gimmicks show 12-year-old girls styled as adult women to make mature women believe they can also have younger looking skin again if they use the advertised miracle product.

Indulgent and largely unrestrained, the promises just keep coming and coming playing on our desires. However, people will see through the empty promises as lies and we won’t trust them anymore.

Those who promise much, forget a lot. Remember that, because promises quickly evaporate. It helps if your promises are quickly forgotten. A decreasing span of attention means promises go unnoticed faster and faster. Don’t worry about what you promised yesterday. This is immensely liberating. Who cares about moral reasoning? The bigger and louder, the better!

 

Everyone’s a millionaire where promises are concerned.

Ovid

 

But … Who makes honest promises in this bold way, runs the risk of being unheard. Of not being noticed or taken seriously. At the end, a large volume of promises will be reduced to only a few that you can keep. But there is also an opportunity or chance to hold yourself to those promises and maintain a reputation that you are honest and keep your word. Few, however, are willing to follow this path.

 

Do not give your word too quickly, so you do not break it; much better is to keep more than you promised.

Friedrich Rückert

 

It is better to make fewer promises because those who promise too quickly and too often rarely keep them. Actions that follow words? Authenticity? Walk your talk? In a world in which we are not accustomed to doing that, this is quite remarkable.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

Do you keep the promises that you make?

May you live all the days of your life. Jonathan Swift

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2008
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#1890

18 tips to increase your assertiveness

18 tips to increase your assertiveness

This will improve your assertiveness
This will improve your assertiveness

Assertiveness

 

Learn how to gain and apply assertiveness. In this article you will get 18 recommendations for more assertiveness in private and professional life.

What is assertiveness?

 

Assertiveness is a type of behavior that is used to express one’s needs in a healthy, prosocial manner. Being assertive can be beneficial in a variety of social settings, although there can also be consequences of being excessively assertive.

Being assertive won’t come easy to everyone. Some people are naturally more assertive than others. If you aren’t, you can learn to be assertive fairly easily.

 

 

 

Assertiveness and persuasiveness

 

Assertiveness depends on persuasiveness. What needs to be convincing is inseparably linked to the person who wants to realize his or her intentions. Besides the quality and attractiveness of the offer, its compelling presentation is also important. How we are perceived has a great impact on our assertiveness and is a major factor in determining whether we can gain trust and support or whether we will be met with resistance. This applies not only in the professional context but also in the private sphere.

 

 

 

Strengthen your assertiveness with these 18 tips

 

There are many ways to strengthen your assertiveness: charisma, technical and social skills, rhetorical and communicative abilities as well as negotiating skills all have a positive effect. Experiences also play a major role, although they take some time to mature as a personality. Other factors can be learned, especially non-verbal communication. And here are 18 tips:

 

 

 

1. Know yourself

 

If you know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, values and priorities, goals, or even vision, your role, it is much easier.
It is a lifelong task to deal with fundamental questions and to practice self-reflection. It is worth it!

Healthy self-assurance is based on self-confidence and self-awareness, i.e. the knowledge of personal characteristics, strengths and potentials, experiences, and expectations of self-efficacy. This is reflected in consistent perception, thinking, and acting.

 

 

 

2. Clear goals

 

Clarify your goals and priorities for yourself and then deliver clear messages. If you do not fully understand your goals, it will be difficult to communicate them. But this is exactly what is required.

It is important to have manageable goals over a foreseeable period that are pursued consistently. Afterward, check how the goal has been achieved and what can be learned.

Achieving small goals boosts self-confidence and encourages you to face new challenges, thus improving your assertiveness over time.

 

 

 

3. Remain loyal to your values

 

Assertive people need not be ruthless egoists.

Even if you have the power to assert something in the event of resistance or to disregard recognized values, you would rather remain true to yourself. Otherwise, it will be a superficial victory. The end does not justify the means!

 

 

 

4. Dealing with those who think differently

 

If you want to push something through, you have to expect rejection as soon as it causes changes for others. This is not only the case when it comes to actual change, but also the presumed effects and intentions. Put yourself in the perspective of other people.

Transparency and credibility can prevent or at least reduce resistance. Remember that the meaning of a message is ultimately determined by the recipient. Therefore, an appropriate form of communication should be chosen to minimize the probability of misunderstandings.

Don’t get drawn into slinging matches, even if the other person gets angry. Stay calm. Listen to what the other person is saying. You can empathize with someone else’s feelings without necessarily agreeing with him or her and giving in to the other point of view. If a point of view is tenable, there are convincing, reasonable arguments for it. Then it is also possible to point out the advantages.

Aggressiveness, on the other hand, is an indication that your issues have not been clarified.

Concentrate on finding a solution to a problem rather than trying to win the argument.

 

 

 

5. Pressure compared to openness

 

Pressure produces counter-pressure, this principle is known from physics. However, this principle can also be applied to communication. The one who asserts himself at any cost makes his counterpart an opponent and evokes rejection, even if the result would be beneficial to others. If, on the other hand, you demonstrate that you only use your power when it is really necessary, you allow your counterpart to participate in the process and thus reduce resistance.

 

 

 

6. Mental balance

 

We constantly reveal information about ourselves. Body language signals, in particular, convey whether one believes in what he says. This is particularly relevant in negotiation situations, in which interlocutors usually observe each other closely and critically question the motives of the others. In such moments, thoughtless body language makes you vulnerable. But it expresses what is going on inside us.

Assertiveness requires a convincing appearance. Those who have lost their mental balance find themselves in a state of imbalance. In that case, you have less access to the resources otherwise available.

Therefore, it is important to train to restore the inner balance as quickly as possible when it has been lost. In emotionally emotional moments, for example in situations that are perceived as an attack, we usually react quickly without thinking about the consequences.

The better I know myself and my priorities, the easier it is for me to say “No!” confidently. Those who know themselves and their weaknesses are more autonomous, pay more attention to themselves and their concerns, and communicate more confidently.

7. Inappropriate reactions

 

An important first step is learning what assertiveness is and what it looks like, as well as the difference between assertiveness and aggression. The likelihood that the first reaction is also the best possible decreases with the degree of negative emotional content. Especially in the case of anger, it is advisable to regain balance and act after the anger is gone. An appropriate, possibly even benevolent reaction conveys sovereignty, increases one’s status, and thus also one’s assertiveness. On the other hand, those who act harshly are accused of weakness and insecurity. Even constant yielding is not sensible: it results in discrimination, weakens one’s reputation and the assertiveness is lost. However, those who always assert themselves are accused that it is not about the object, but only about personal success.

In addition to those two extremes, some alternatives aim to take responsibility and show commitment to oneself and one’s cause. The focus should be on convincingly representing one’s interests and personal values, while at the same time inviting the other person to take part in a joint project. To do this, it is necessary to appreciate the opinions of others as well as to deal with resistance. This reflects the whole appearance and especially body language.

 

 

 

8. The role of body language

 

Non-verbal communication plays a major role in many aspects, although too little attention is often paid to it. While arguments are usually well-prepared, body language is usually left to coincidence. However, body language often says something different from what verbal expressions are supposed to convey. Especially when you try to pretend or suppress something.

Especially in negotiation situations many people want to present themselves advantageously and do not want to let their excitement be noticed. The result then usually does not meet expectations because the inner pressure is very strong and paralyzes both physical and mental agility. Instead of trying to be an actor, it is advisable to perform authentically and professionally. After all, it’s all about presenting yourself and what you offer convincingly. To do this, the verbal and non-verbal elements of the communication have to match: Assertive body language is calm and strong, whereas aggressive body language is tense and intimidating, and passive body language is weak. Keeping good eye contact and limiting loud gestures are great ways to maintain that middle ground.

 

 

 

9. How congruent is your voice?

 

The impact of the voice is immense, for better or worse. Many details are transported by the voice, whether we want it or not. The listeners derive from it how we are and how we relate to our statements.

To use the voice effectively, it is worth working on the inner attitude, vocal technique, and vocal care.

 

 

 

10. Clear messages instead of softeners

 

Choose your words carefully. Focus on clear and concise messages. Simple sentences, understandable language … consider the basics of communication.

This also includes avoiding the use of softeners that take the power out of your statements. And be careful with generalities. As powerful as language can be, as easily we shoot ourselves in the foot.

 

 

 

11. Putting words into action

 

Assertiveness is also based on strong motivation. Personal values provide a basic foundation, which are meaningful guidelines for our actions. Those who formulate and live their values find stability and orientation, also for the assessment of their behavior.

With a well-thought-out plan, especially complex projects become verifiable even before the start: In a sense, a concept provides the blueprint for implementation and provides an overview of the tasks at hand. To move these forward more quickly, priorities are set, i.e. important and less important steps are defined. Arranging the sequence of tasks according to importance and urgency helps to simplify the process and to deploy resources sensibly.

But ultimately only actions can turn a project into reality because the best planning is of little use without consistent implementation. The environment registers how committed we are to our work, and credibility increases when what has been said is put into practice.

 

 

 

12. Dealing with obstacles

 

Obstacles often do not appear unexpectedly; many are foreseeable or announce themselves. By taking problems into account, appropriate solutions can be prepared in advance. If you have a plan B, you can deal with difficulties in a more relaxed manner.

Others also observe how we deal with obstacles. A lot can be said, but these moments show just how ready we are to act. A lot can be said, but these moments show just how ready we are to act. One positive effect is that every situation we master strengthens us. Trust in our actions and judgments increases. Credibility and the effect on others also benefit from this.

 

 

 

13. Flexibility, movement, and stability

 

Flexibility means a fundamentally positive attitude towards change. But not all innovations are always appreciated. Some are perceived as unproblematic, while others give us the feeling that we are losing the basis of our familiar life. Changes are, whether we like it or not, a part of life. Therefore, it is worthwhile to adapt to them. Being flexible also means to discover various possibilities in new situations.

The right balance between appreciating and stabilizing what has been achieved, openness to change, and the willingness to evolve ensure flexibility. Those who rest on their success for too long lose their grip and are no longer perceived accordingly.

 

 

 

14. A convincing presentation

 

The more attractive a goal is, the easier it is to convince other people of it. However, all these advantages are of no use if it is not possible to convince the relevant target group. Without the willingness to stand up for a statement as a personality, many potentials remain unexploited.

It is necessary to clearly define one’s objective. If you do not do this yourself, you will experience that other people will do it for you. The description resulting from this often does not correspond with your interests.

Knowledge and skills are therefore needed to successfully convey an offer. This is a competence that can be learned.

 

 

 

15. Keep pushing

 

Show stamina. It serves the current project and also future ones if it is recognized that you stick to your plans.

Once you have earned the reputation of sticking to it, doubters become less frequent.

 

 

 

16. Be prepared

 

Explore the perspectives, put yourself in the shoes of other positions. Collect information such as numbers, dates, facts, and about the characteristics of the persons involved. What are their motives, fears, and personal patterns?

The better prepared you are, the more effectively you will communicate. If you care about a concern, prepare yourself well – with professional support if necessary.

 

 

 

17. Relationships

 

Each of us is dependent on other people. Reaching out to social networks and experts helps us find the support we need for our projects. Interpersonal relationships deserve special attention for this reason too.

While being assertive generally leads to better outcomes in many aspects of life, being overly assertive can also hurt relationships. The solution lies in a competent, respectful interaction with people. Assertiveness is not the ability to realize ideas against, but together with other people.

 

 

 

18. Willingness to learn

 

Evaluate your experiences, and especially the setbacks. Think about the consequences and what you want to do differently in the future. This way you will constantly become better in whatever you do. 

What next?

 

Assertiveness is a characteristic that can be trained in small steps. Stand up for your concerns, while remaining committed to your values. It is easier to behave respectfully with each other than against each other.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

What is your opinion regarding assertiveness?

Great Ideas Need Wings As Well As Landing Gear And...

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: April 30, 2020
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: April 30, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/schluesselkompetenz-durchsetzungskraft/
K:
H:
T: RR
#221

Self-marketing: How about your focus?

Self-marketing: How about your focus?

Crystallize and focus your message
Focus - Coaching & Training in Berlin

Focus

 

Self-marketing needs focus. You may have many strengths and talents. Don’t be tempted to focus on more than one or two, or you will dilute your message. Focus on your core message so that you are known for something that counts!

You can do anything, but not everything.

Focus on your core message

 

What do you tell your audience about yourself? You may have many strengths and talents. Don’t be tempted to focus on more than one or two at the same time, or you will dilute your message.

This is where many people fail in their market. They have a message that is all over the board and therefore their message is confusing. Nobody understands who they are or what they do.

When you focus your message, you set yourself up to be known for something. You have to focus on your core message and eliminated everything else. You need to be very clear about your message. You need to be as specific as you possibly can be.

You need to be willing to sacrifice everything else to focus your message. This way you will become known for that. When your known for something specific you become the expert in that field. As a result, you will more easily position yourself as the expert. When you can do that consistently you’re going to gain much more loyal clients. Everybody trusts an expert more than a generalist.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a doctor, lawyer, accountant, auto mechanic, business owner, or consultant. Being seen as an expert in your niche will help your business and your career.

Positioning yourself as an expert is not an overnight proposition. It is a long-term challenge. You’re going to be investing in marketing long-term regardless. Why not do it the right way? Focus on your core message, be known for something that counts, be clear, be specific.

Concentrate: You can’t be everyone to all people. You have to give up to go up. In marketing, less is more. You have to know your target market, your ideal client. You have to understand who and how your clients are. You have to make sure that your position is right, and then you have to focus your message. You have to repeat your core message over and over again through a variety of media, through a variety of methods. Finally, your clients think about you, when they need an expert in your field.

Focus on your core message so that you are known for something that counts!

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

Do you have a focus?

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: August 21, 2011
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: April 3, 2012
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#1890

You want to avoid criticism?

You Want to Avoid Criticism?

Use feedback instead avoiding it
You Want to Avoid Criticism?

The value of criticism

 

Is it really a good idea to avoid criticism at all costs? Could criticism have value?

There is no real way to avoid criticism

 

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing

Aristotle

 

Aristotle is correct; if you try to hide away to avoid criticism you won’t get anywhere. However, a typical attempt to avoid criticism is not to be seen and heard – flying under the radar. But even by hiding, you could still face criticism.

A fulfilled life is not about avoiding criticism. Criticism can also be a good sign. There is some evidence that if you don’t meet any critics in your way, you are probably not going in the right direction. On well-trodden paths …

You have enemies?
Good.
That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Winston Churchill

 

It’s better to have honest criticism than to give or receive false praise. At least you know where you stand!

 

 

 

Criticism is seldom pleasant

 

Better honest criticism than false praise! At least we know where we stand.

Criticism is usually bitter and hard to swallow. This also applies to constructive criticism, but it at least gets us ahead, it makes us better. Such kind of criticism – in the sense of feedback – should not only be welcome but even encouraged.

Some criticism is also not meant as a source of joy. There are more or less friendly people who have an innate or instilled tendency to concentrate solely on sore points and decompose ideas. They can be very harsh and do not promote motivation. The reasons are different and often of a personal nature, why you don’t want to find anything good in your idea. Often there are conflicts of interest that are not openly mentioned.

And there are these insensitive people with the urge to be ruthless. Some people don’t give a damn as long as they can destroy something. You can’t please them anyway, whatever you say or do. You better not let such people slow you down.

Instead of avoiding criticism, like the devil the holy water, take it rather as what it is; an additional perspective, the point of view of another person. No more and no less!

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

Do you avoid doing things that meet with critism?

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Aristotle

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: April 7, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: January 1, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/sie-wollen-kritik-vermeiden/
K:
H:
T: RR
#234

15 tips on how to stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!

15 Tipps on how to stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!

How about your courage to speak up?
Stand Up! Speak Up! - 8 Tipps on How To Stand Up For Your Conviction: Speak Up!

Stand up for your conviction

 

Some people have an opinion that deserves attention. Often, however, this opinion is not heard. Then it is time to decide whether to keep it that way or to share the point of view more clearly with others. Not everyone dares this step. What about you?

Overview

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

Václav Havel

Why don’t we stand up for what is right?

 

I appear to me that too few people are willing to stand up for what is right. Too many times we keep on complaining about the injustice in the world, but so few of us are willing to stand up and speak up. With little or no backing those few who do speak up then inevitably find themselves victimized – and that while others watch in silence. Somehow we completely miss the fact that when we do not speak up against injustice we become complicit in it.

Why is it that when people observe something wrong being done or said, they simply cannot find the courage to speak up against it? Is it that we fear being victimized? Or do we fear being disliked?

 

 

 

We don’t want conflict

 

I know how hard it can be to speak up. Most of us want to be nice to other people. We don’t want conflict.

Sometimes we aren’t certain that we even know what we want to say, but we know we should say something. While searching for the perfect words we may hesitate.

 

 

 

It takes courage to speak up

 

Yes, it takes courage to speak up. And when we start to speak our truth, we often don’t do it elegantly. Especially when we emotionally engaged we can be clumsy and a little overbearing or inarticulate. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak our truth. It just means we need to practice being brave. Are you brave enough to tell the truth, even it is not mainstream? And are you willing to show respect doing it in a way that supports your values without hurting others? Becoming aware of what prevents you from speaking up and facing the fear of being disapproved is the solution to start speaking up and giving your contribution. If you are looking for support …

You don’t want to look away?

 

Some people have an opinion that deserves attention. But if this opinion is not loud enough yet, then it is time to decide whether to keep it that way or to share it more clearly with others. How about you?

Leave the hiding place

 

Unfortunately, a lot of people are hiding, staying hidden. Not everyone dares to take the step into responsibility. Often possible consequences are avoided, sometimes rightly so. However, it is usually not necessary to sacrifice oneself as a martyr. Usually it is enough to have the courage to talk about it in such a way that other people also form an opinion about it and can join if necessary.

Sometimes we run open doors and, although we expected resistance, we are welcomed with open arms. If not, then there is some headwind. So what? Those who dare to express their own opinion in non-totalitarian systems and do not cause unnecessary damage in the process may get a few bruises. But even that usually feels better than swallowing everything. Because those who have the impression that they are at the mercy of what is happening will suffer at some point. Sooner or later, people who build up such inner pressure become unhappy, ill, and sometimes even explode emotionally at some point. Then the frustration discharges in a way that is no longer appropriate and easily hits people who often have nothing to do with it. Therefore…

15 tips for dealing with resistance

 

 

1. Resistance as an indication to leave the mainstream

 

Instead of getting angry about the resistance or feeling it unpleasant, it helps to perceive it as a positive sign: It means you leave the mainstream, you come out of the slipstream of prefabricated opinions and now follow your path.

Those who polarize are more likely to be noticed, you will now participate! Good!

 

 

 

2. Stay relaxed

 

Keep a cool head and a constructive serenity with which you can make the best decisions and act skillfully.

 

 

 

3. Remain true to your values

 

Just when the resistance becomes more intense and the tone rougher, you can show that you take the values you represent seriously, that you live them. This is what distinguishes heroes from fanatics.

 

 

 

4. The willingness to learn

 

Take a closer look at every feedback, even the uncomfortable ones, even the inappropriately expressed ones. There may be something to learn. Perhaps you overlooked something. At least then you will have a better basis for your argumentation.

 

 

 

5. Keep the focus

 

Don’t let the resistance take you astray. Always focus on your goals and priorities and remain flexible concerning the way ahead.

 

 

 

6. Dealing with fear

 

It is quite an individual matter how people deal with criticism. Some people find leaving the mainstream too unpleasant and others enjoy the provocation. Everyone has their limits, their themes, which are filled with fear. The better we know ourselves and work on ourselves, the tidier we are on our way.

 

 

 

7. Motivation

 

“Convincing is not difficult for a convinced person,” said Friedrich von Schiller. Knowing why it is worthwhile to stand up for something helps to summon up the courage to do it and to stick to it. A high degree of motivation is required, especially for larger challenges. Why is a topic so close to your heart?

Knowing why it pays to work for something helps to find the courage and to stick to it. Know what you want to accomplish. What is the key message you wish to communicate? Before you begin, you need to know what the desired outcome is. What is the exact reaction you want to get from your audience? Before speaking, visualize how you want your audience to react when receiving your message and the way you want them to feel afterward.

 

 

 

8. Know your content, your position

 

Anyone who has dealt extensively with a topic feels safer. How familiar are you with the topic? If you have dealt extensively with a topic, it feels safer to talk about it. Be prepared by doing your research and having visual aids to support your message.

Conviction is a feeling of certainty in your beliefs. Knowing that you’re on the right side of an issue makes it easier to stand up in the face of opposition. Challenges will come, but you can withstand them with a firm belief. Walk your talk.

When people challenge your belief, they are testing it. If you back down, then they will see it as a weakness in your position. Therefore, be armed with the facts and data points needed to convey your message if challenged. Review your message in advance, to determine whether there is conflicting data, and try to anticipate where there could be a difference of opinion. Test your arguments before you leave home. It is useful to have a list of opposition arguments and counter-arguments.

 

 

 

9. Know your audience

 

Not only the arguments count, but they also have to be understood by the recipients. So adapt the communication style to the listener. To do that, it is necessary to know the target group, which in turn allows many insights into their thinking and other arguments.

It is important to understand your audience. Before communicating, try to better understand your audience.

  • Who are they?
  • What do they already know?
  • Do they need a lot of details?
  • What may they want to hear?
  • Are they engaged and interested in what you have to say?

 

One of the most important aspects to be heard is to be a good listener. Too many times when others speak, we are just waiting for a break where we can jump in to share our opinions or experiences. Practicing active listening and pausing to collect your ideas before you share yours will refocus the audience’s attention on your message.

 

 

 

 

10. Speak the language of the target group

 

Not only do the arguments count, but they must also be understood by the recipients. So remember to adapt your communication style to the audience. To do this, it is necessary to know the target audience, which in turn allows many insights into their thinking and other arguments.

 

 

 

11. Authenticity

 

Listeners feel whether someone is pretending or means what he is saying. Body language plays an important role here.

 

 

 

12. Relationship

 

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re talking to a wall, think about your relationship with your audience. Only when sufficient rapport (sustainability of a relationship) has been established will messages reach their recipients. Only then do they get a real chance.

 

 

 

13. Personal attitude

 

Practice respect. Listeners perceive the attitude towards them. Does the provider of an idea see this as an offer or does he consider any person to be stupid who thinks differently, who does not accept it immediately? In the eagerness to dedicate oneself to a deserving cause, the respect towards those who think differently is easily lost. Filter bubbles and echo chamber effects can then lead to an attitude that seems arrogant. This then has the effect of an obstacle that makes it difficult for undecided and dissenting people to rethink their opinions.

 

 

 

14. Travel companions

 

It can be easier to work together with other people. At least if the common goal and the values match. Especially with larger challenges, it helps to mutually encourage each other.

 

 

 

15. Support 

 

External help can make a lot of things easier. I sometimes offer such support free of charge to charitable projects. This will give you additional perspectives, inspiration, helpful knowledge, and skills as well as concrete support.

Preparation of important speeches and presentations

 

Those who do not speak are not heard and even those who speak up are not always successful. There are a few more steps that need to be mastered. 

You want to convince with your message and also as a personality? Then I will help you to prepare your speeches and presentations. You determine the scope. At least I recommend a test run with professional feedback for you and your message. Then you will know how you and your content are perceived, what you should do and what you should leave out, where there is potential. Why do you want to get such helpful feedback so late after your real performance? Then it is too late for adjustments. Benefit from the advantage. My definition of luck: Preparation meets opportunity.

You can best estimate for yourself where the effort is worthwhile concerning the expected benefit. Here you will find the fees for my support (communication, psychology, language, structure, voice, body language, storytelling, rhetorical means, media such as PowerPoint and Co., etc.)

You are not in Berlin right now? Then choose meetings with me via telephone or video support. Whereby there are quite good reasons for a trip to Berlin.

By the way, many people suffer from such intense stage fright in front of an audience and therefore their performance lags behind their possibilities. Too bad, because with my help a performance in a good condition is possible. Just in case...

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

Are you brave enough to tell the truth, even it is not mainstream? What do you want to stand up for?

stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 2, 2005
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: January 1, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
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T: RR
#245

Trustworthy body language. Trust, dignity and body language.

Trustworthy Body Language. Trust, Dignity and Body Language

Do you know that your body language communicates what is in your interest?
Trustworthy Body Language

Trust and body language

 

How do you know that your body language communicates what is in your interest?

Each presentation is also a self-presentation.

Karsten Noack

The impact of body language

 

He who hurries can not walk with dignity.

 

This Chinese proverb underlines what we know of body language. And there is a lot more to say about.

Oftentimes, what comes out of our mouths and what we communicate through our body language are two different things. When faced with these mixed signals, the listener has to choose whether to believe your verbal or nonverbal message. In most cases, they’re going to choose the nonverbal.

We do this because it’s a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts our true feelings and intentions at any given moment.

When we interact with others, we continuously give and receive wordless signals. The way you listen, look, move, and react tells others whether you care, if you’re being truthful, and how well you’re listening. Are you sure that your body language communicates what you intend?

 

 

 

Trustworthy body language

 

Here are some elements of a trustworthy body language:

 

 

1. Open body language

 

Open body language is a common cluster of moves that is non-aggressive and trusting, showing that you are relaxed and comfortable.

 

 

 

 

a. No barriers

 

Avoiding barriers is the first step in projecting positive body language. Remove all the barriers between you and others. Barriers include in particular crossed arms and legs, but can also include physical items you are holding or you have placed between you such as a lectern when presenting.

Exposing your body makes you more vulnerable to attack and shows that you trust them. This encourages others to reciprocate and likewise trust you.

 

 

 

b. Open palms

 

Do not clench your hands like fists as this sends signals of aggression or concealed tension. Leave your palms open and relaxed (do not stretch them far).

Palms up is open, offering (but can be pleading). Palms down is often ‘calm down’ and perhaps to be avoided. Palms sideways, holding something, facing one another is a good neutral.

 

 

 

c. Open face 

 

Keep your face open, too. This means sustaining a relatively relaxed expression without extremes and certainly without signs of anger, fear, boredom and other emotions that do not encourage trust.

Hold your head up rather than looking away or down. This lets them see your expression and realize that you are not a threat.

 

 

 

2. Steadiness

 

To help others them predict what you will do and gain confidence, display a steadiness in your body language.

 

 

 

 

a. Steady gaze

 

Sustain a steady gaze, rather than glaring, looking away or shifty eye movement. Look at them for reasonable periods that show your interest, though with occasional looking away to avoid it seeming like a stare.

A gaze holds eyes open at a natural level, not showing the whites around the top and bottom (indicating that you are staring) nor narrowing eyes that hide intent.

 

 

 

b. Stable head position

 

Many people move their heads a lot during a conversation, but if you look at respected leaders you may notice their heads move very little as if they are deeply interested in the other person.

 

 

 

c. Slower movements

 

Avoid sudden and unpredictable movements. A sudden movement may appear as a threat or that you are stressed (which makes them wonder why).

Move smoothly and perhaps slower than you might otherwise, without stretching joints or bending them far, so you describe rounded, rather than angular, motion.

 

 

 

3. Show interest

 

Show interest and concern about them and their affairs.

 

 

a. Leaning Forward

 

In case you like someone you want to get closer. The closer you get, the more interested you are. Hence, leaning forward, especially when combined with nodding and smiling, it’s a distinct way to say nonverbally: “Yes, I hear you, keep going!”.

 

 

 

b. Furrowed brow

 

Your forehead sends significant signals. Raise it to show surprise and question that encourages them to keep talking without you having to say anything other than non-verbal ah-has and so on. The eyebrows can also be pulled together to show sympathy and concern for their troubles.

 

 

 

c. Touching

 

Touch is a highly variable and often more permissible by women as male touching can be interpreted more than a dominant power move. Nevertheless, light touching in displays of concern and sympathy can be hugely effective.

 

 

 

4. Show respect

 

Always show respect for others, even if you disagree with them.

 

 

 

a. Social distance

 

Maintain an appropriate distance from others, close enough to show interest, yet not so close that you appear threatening or are attempting intimacy.

Angling the body to them is also less threatening, but also invites others to join in.

 

 

 

b. Attentive

 

Be attentive, listening far more than speaking and asking questions that encourage them to keep talking. Do not press them if they do not want to tell you more.

 

 

 

c. Nodding

 

A simple technique is to nod when they are talking, in particular as they are explaining things and more when they have completed. Nodding shows you agree and are accepting them as well as what they say.

Even better. Instead of seeing nodding as a technique, node to see the human in your conversational partner.

 

 

 

5. Aligned

 

Let your arms and hand loosely or move gently in time with your words to help signal trustworthy intent. Move more urgently to signal importance. Remember to keep open even when you are passionate, avoiding fists, sudden movement and other shapes that may be interpreted as attacks.

 

 

 

 

 

6. Rapport

 

Shape your body to align with their body to reflect high alignment with them, but beware of too obvious mirroring. Watch also for them doing the same back.

Preparation of important speeches and presentations

 

Those who do not speak are not heard and even those who speak up are not always successful. There are a few more steps that need to be mastered. 

You want to convince with your message and also as a personality? Then I will help you to prepare your speeches and presentations. You determine the scope. At least I recommend a test run with professional feedback for you and your message. Then you will know how you and your content are perceived, what you should do and what you should leave out, where there is potential. Why do you want to get such helpful feedback so late after your real performance? Then it is too late for adjustments. Benefit from the advantage. My definition of luck: Preparation meets opportunity.

You can best estimate for yourself where the effort is worthwhile concerning the expected benefit. Here you will find the fees for my support (communication, psychology, language, structure, voice, body language, storytelling, rhetorical means, media such as PowerPoint and Co., etc.)

You are not in Berlin right now? Then choose meetings with me via telephone or video support. Whereby there are quite good reasons for a trip to Berlin.

By the way, many people suffer from such intense stage fright in front of an audience and therefore their performance lags behind their possibilities. Too bad, because with my help a performance in a good condition is possible. Just in case...

A good start: Professional feedback with recommendations for improvements

 

How convincing are you and your messages in speeches and presentations? How good are you in the 111+ most important presentation skills? I have been analyzing speeches since 1998. After evaluating 14,375 speeches and presentations, I can tell you very precisely what has which effect on which audience. Let me give you the feedback that will help you get ahead. You will receive essential feedback and recommendations, as well as the impulses you need to convince your audience in concrete situations.

Are you interested? Then you will find here the information on feedback with recommendations for improvements of speeches and presentations.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

What are you looking for to get an idea if someone is honest? How do you project trustworthiness?

Each presentation is also a self-presentation. Karsten Noack

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 4, 2007
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: February 6, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#1890

The value of trust. Are you trustworthy?

The Value Of Trust. Are You Trustworthy?

How important is trustworthiness?
Are You Trustworthy?

How about your trustworthiness?

 

People will trust a person who has a reputation of being honest, reliable and responsible. But how do you know if you’re trustworthy? 

Overview

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

Albert Einstein

The value of trustworthiness

 

People like to deal with those they can trust. When people trust you, they will like you and make you more concessions than others. 

 

 

 

Are you trustworthy?

 

But how do you know that you’re trustworthy?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you do what you say you will do?
  • Can people count on you?
  • Do you freely admit when you are wrong or have made mistakes, and do you apologize?
  • Do others feel that you keep your promises?

 

If you are honest, do as promised and are capable of taking on responsibility, then you feel good about yourself. You feel that you have integrity and cannot be influenced by negative, outside forces trying to bring you down. You feel self-respect, knowing that you are worthy of others’ trust.

How trustworthy are you?

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

How trustworthy are you?

Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and sometimes forever to repair.

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 21, 2015
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: January 1, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#989

9 proven strategies to become famous

9 Proven Strategies To Become Famous

What you can do for your self-marketing and what you shouldn't
Think Twice Before You Do A Media Interview

How to become famous

 

Famous or notorious? It does not matter. You want to be a VIP, at all costs. 5 minutes of glory are better than nothing, right?

Overview

 

 

 

 

Famous or notorious, it doesn’t matter!

 

It doesn’t matter how as long as it leads to being known by the masses. Why dealing with the uninteresting details? And even 5 minutes fame is better than nothing, isn’t it?

The aim to be seen tends to become closer to absurdity, not only in the talent free zone. Those who want to be seen and heard in the world where nearly everyone seems to become a star, it needs the willingness to do the extreme.

And, yes, when you ignore the side effects and long-term results, it is possible.

Therefore, here are a few ideas how doing it – or should I write observations?

 

 

 

Applause: Here are 9 proven ways to become famous

 

 

1. Become an object of hatred

 

Enemies proof you are something special. Put aside respect. That’s unnecessary ballast like political correctness. Look at Donald Trump and how well it serves him.

Look for something or someone to become your enemy. Depending on your character, choose an enemy that will hold against you or one that is already an unprotected victim. The world is a bad place. It is like it is! There will be an audience that supports your opinions. A lot of strange people are on this planet and especially on the Internet.

Be consequent: talk about the strange ideas, behavior or whatever is available that you and your followers don’t like. Make it clear to be heard.

Stay with it. Someone who will fight back give you more occasions to make it interesting for the audience. In case your opponent is on a floor after a few rounds, you have to find someone else. Therefore, hurt, don’t kill too fast.

An interesting fight brings you forward. People don’t gossip about boring people, but they love to do it about some of those scandalous celebrities. As a positive side effect, those noisemakers earn a fortune with their advertising contracts. Be one of them!

 

 

Disadvantages

 

  • You have to waive of respect, self-respect and desirable relationships.
  • It may bring you in contact with a lot of strange followers.
  • Aggression against you and even risks for your health and life.
  • The hatred remains, sometimes way longer than the short period of fame.

 

 

 

2. Be outraged

 

Find someone or something you are ashamed of. You have moral responsibilities. You accept the burden to speak out loud what has to be said clearly.

Make yourself the speaker of a minority. This will give your concerns more relevance.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

  • You may lose your credibility.
    But usually, only the more clever observer will realize it in the beginning.
  • Walk your talk?
    Especially with morality, it is not that easy for everyone to stay authentic with the rules. And it may hurt to walk your own talk or to excuse later to be a liar. But even that mustn’t be bad. A scandal may help you to be known.

 

 

 

3. Sex sells

 

Yes, that’s right! The voyeurism of the masses may help you. And especially when your target group is simple-minded you save time because it doesn’t afford intellectual preparation.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

  • Competition and effect
    This strategy is really prominent, and because there is a lot of competition, it only has a short-term effect. Find a niche, the more specific and bizarre the better.
  • Long-term effects
    The Internet never forgets. Getting out of this pigeonhole in the minds of your audience will take longer than you might wish.

 

 

 

4. No press is bad press

 

When striving at all costs to get into the press, there will be ways. As long as you don’t care about self-respect. Do something embarrassing and at least the boulevard press will talk about you.

With some target groups that may lead to problems, for others it is exactly the place to go. Switch on your tv and you will see a lot of examples. As I already wrote; don’t bother about self-respect.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

Help! I’m a celebrity. Get me out of here! The world is a jungle. Later it will be difficult to separate from the painful past. More sophisticated audiences will avoid you. But there is still the other target group.

 

 

 

5. Promise people the moon, be creative

 

You are a supermodel or artist from a country that does not have internet access or you know a good public relations agency that makes your made up story believable. Many others have done that and for some, it still works. One of them became the minister of defense and another one has her TV show around the world. So, who bothers that everything started with a lie? Not so clever follower has a bad memory or doesn’t think about anything like that at all. Who cares how you become a celebrity, when you are one, now?

 

 

 

6. Hallelujah, an enlightenment

 

A spontaneous enlightenment as a strategy is more or less suitable depending on your target group. Tell a great hero story, how you struggled and been reborn. From Saulus to Paulus!

Earlier in your life sex, drugs and violence, and now, everything is different. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord or whatever is accepted in your field as an authority.

A not to be underestimated side effect; all you had said and done before enlightenment is related to the old YOU, and you have left that person behind you. Hallelujah! You receive absolution as a repentant sinner. Before your enlightenment, you can celebrate a wild party.  Cheers!

 

 

Disadvantages

 

Politicians and other storytellers, particularly the self-help literature are full of such illumination. The transition from halfway credibly to the bizarre is easy to exceed. And then it may be too embarrassing, even to the less sophisticated audience.

 

 

 

7. Crossing borders

 

Just do not hold yourself back. Deliver material for your audience, so they have plenty to talk about. So make sure people talk about you. When people talk about you, you’re famous.

Find a way to exceed a previously valid limit social border. The break with social conventions attracts attention. People talk about that. Morally-ethical boundaries? Who needs that? Sometimes it’s so easy. The more you shock the audience, the better it works.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

I doubt that there are still a lot of borders today that are untouched. If you imitate Madonna and kissing on stage someone of the same sex, it will bore your audience to death.

Sustainability: The rapid rise is followed by an even faster descent. Such stagings wore out quickly. If you want to continue to be in the limelight, you constantly need something even more blatant for repositioning. Otherwise, applies; famous, infamous, forget!
See: Become an object of hatred

Who plays by the rules, does not stand out so quickly. Therefore, the limits of legality are soon exceeded.

 

 

 

8. Do it like Brian

 

Watch the autobiographical movie The Life of Brian. “I am not the Messiah, hear me! I am not the Messiah. Did you understand? Honestly!” repeated Brian and the people replied; “Only the true Messiah denies his divinity”. Understood?

In practice, this strategy is often used even when there is no audience listening. Therefore, at least some persistence is necessary and the willingness to utilize opportunities. Denying your greatness, so loudly and often as possible. It will grind.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

Brian was later tortured and ended up on the cross.

 

 

 

9. Strategic partnerships

 

A companion with influence or at least sufficient financial facilities can speed up the way to prominence. Let the sugar daddy by the stage for you and if you are untalented also a clapping audience.

How about a flirt or even the marriage of a celebrity? Very popular partners are rich men of advanced age. In times of equality, this strategy is increasingly available to all genders.

 

 

Disadvantages

 

This strategy is less suitable for real talent since even with good performances, it is assumed for a long time, that otherwise, without the support of a benefactor, it would not have been possible.

 

 

 

And now? I hope you ask yourself: Are you nuts?

 

Who is willing to accept the drawbacks described in the article, can choose from the quite numerous options for up to 5 minutes of fame. Although I would be glad if you don’t! I personally don’t like to see those techniques in practice.

Enforced attempts to become famous without a good reason often backfires. Think about Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Those examples when someone becomes known for “being known” rather than for any contribution to society are embarrassing. While it works with some special target groups, it is usually associated with a particularly low reputation among other groups. The decision whether this is a good idea or not, depends on many factors. Just as the decision whether to invest in content or packaging.

For me, no question; substance counts. A stable foundation lasts longer and can carry more. Who develops the conditions of their own positive reputation slow and stable, makes it authentic. The good feeling when looking in the mirror does have its value.

Some people with influence work for a cause, not the applause. Many of my clients avoid – often for good reason – the public. A few of their dazzling competitors are so well-known that those appear extremely important in their industry. This often deceives outsiders, they might think the loudest experts are the most successful. What really counts in the long run is not superficial attention, but the perception and reputation among the relevant target group. Those are booked who have demonstrated that they deliver what they promise.

I recommend authentic self-marketing. Since it is not interesting to be known by just anyone but by those who are critical to being recognized. Better the respected expert in your niche than a billionaire in the family board game Monopoly™.  If you choose one of the described strategies; good luck! Those of you, interested in authentic self-marketing; I look forward to hearing from you.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

Just ask me personally

 

Let's get into a conversation. Please post any questions that may be interesting for other readers in the comments. If you are interested in coaching or training, for personal questions about that and appointments you can reach me best by e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com), phone +49(0)30 864 213 68, and mobile phone +49(0)1577 704 53 56.

Please read the information about the privacy policy.

P.S.

 

What do you think about this topic? Is it worth dying for fame?

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: February 4, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/9-strategien-wie-sie-garantiert-bekannt-werden/
K:
H:
T: RR
#181

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