23+ ideas to stay in a good mood instead of getting angry about other people

Motto of the day: Good mood is free and confuses the opponent!


Good mood is free and confuses the opponent!






Call for ignorance?


Usually ignorance is not a nice trait. But if we’re dealing with nasty people, we don’t have to make it that easy for them. Why should we let ourselves be forced to do something we don’t want? Why should we get angry just because other people like it?

In such cases we can become a spoilsport and change the rules of the game.
A German proverb is: “Was kümmert es die Eiche, wenn ein Eber sich an ihr reibt?”. What does the oak care if a boar rubs against it? I think this proverb is very wise.

23+ ideas to stay in a good mental attitude instead of getting angry with other people.


In a spontaneous action, I have gathered here a few ideas on how to deal with anger:



1. Don’t deny that you’re angry


People who can recognize their anger as anger are less likely to resort to aggression or violence.




2. Practice self-reflection


If something about other people upsets me, maybe it has something to do with me. Self-reflection helps here. Those who know themselves well react more self-confidently and appropriately.




3. Take a deep breath


A deep breath is a good way to calm down when you’re angry. Slow breaths slow your heart rate. Stop, breathe, action. During the pause, there is time to think: Is there a simple solution to the problem?




4. Use tools


Tools, such as Mind Mapping, help to maintain an overview and to recognize the correlations, even with complex topics.




5. Beware of impulsive reactions


Spontaneous impulses are not always a good idea. For example: Never, never send an e-mail if you are furious.




6. Anchor for good mental states

Condition yourself with mental anchors for good states. In this way, you can activate constructive states when they are required.




7. What is the actual personal relevance?

Be confident with a smile… “To be angry is to avenge the mistakes of others in ourselves,” Alexander Pope said. Often no further thought is worthwhile if strangers behave differently than we imagine. Is the situation worth the effort?




8. Can you read minds?

Could it be a misunderstanding? If you are not a clairvoyant, questions will help clarify the situation.




9. Don’t take everything personally


Don’t take other people’s behavior so personally. Often their behavior has something to do with something completely different than the first glance would suggest. It probably has nothing to do with you.




10. Are you ashamed of other people?

They are not responsible for other people’s mistakes.




11. Practice compassion.

Doing something compassionate for someone else is incompatible with anger and aggression.




12. Physical exercise reduces stress.


Especially aerobic exercise, including brisk walking or jogging, can be a great way to handle anger.




13. Relaxation techniques


Some simple relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm angry feelings. If you practice one or more of these strategies often and thereby develop a routine, it will be easier to apply them when angry feelings occur.




14. Ask for support


How about coaching?




15. Distract yourself


Use ways to distract yourself from things you don’t want to think about.




16. Meditate






17. Say NO


Say goodbye to being a people pleaser and learn how to confidently say no to someone without feeling bad about it.




18. Write


Bring your thoughts on paper. Writing down thoughts can be very enlightening.




19. Sleep on it


This gives you time to find a reasonable and rational answer to the situation. Do not be afraid to tell the person who offended you that you need a day or two to think about the issue.




20. Practice constructive quick-wittedness


Do you sometimes have the right answer too late? Quick-wittedness is trainable!

It is intelligent to use constructive instead of destructive techniques for verbal attacks. Constructive techniques ensure that your situation improves and that relationships remain possible. Learn to react positively, cleverly and quickly to attacks and provocations instead of becoming angry. Thus you appear more sovereign and radiate more competence as well as self-confidence. Join training in constructive quick-wittedness.




21. Count


Count from 1 to 10 or 100 if necessary. Thomas Jefferson famously said, “When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100.”




22. Learn to forgive


Forgiveness can help you to stop ruminating, because negative thoughts repeat themselves again and again in your head, like in a horror movie scene.




23. Be creative



Knowing how and when it is worthwhile to react and when it is not, is helpful. It is a good fit to continue assuming responsibility. Those who are not omnipotent should use resources cleverly.



Some people say anger happens, it’s just part of life. Where and when do you want to stay in a good mental state today, where otherwise the personal serenity can easily be lost?


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This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 21, 2017
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 11, 2019
Translation: August 11, 2019
German version: