23+ ideas to stay in a good mood instead of getting angry about other people

Motto of the day: Good mood is free and confuses the opponent!


Good mood is free and confuses the opponent!

Call for ignorance?


Usually, ignorance is not a nice character trait. But if we have to deal with nasty people, then we do not have to make it so easy for them. Why should we let ourselves be forced on something we do not want? Why should we be annoyed just because other people like it?

In such cases, we may well become a spoilsport and change the rules of the game. What does the oak care about when a sow rubs against her? How wise this German proverb is! Do you understand the proverb in English?

23+ ideas to stay in a good mood instead of getting angry about other people


In a spontaneous action, I have gathered here a few ideas on how to deal with anger:




1. Don’t deny that you’re angry


People who are able to see their anger as anger are less likely to resort to aggression or violence.




2. Practice self-reflection


If something annoys me with other people, it may have something to do with me. Self-reflection. Anyone who knows himself well responds more confidently.



3. Take a deep breath


Taking deep breaths is one good way to calm yourself when you’re in the throes of anger. Slow breaths will slow the heart rate down. Stop, Breath, Action. Or is not there a simple solution to the problem?



4. Use tools


Tools, such as a mind map, help to ensure the overview and proportionality even for complex topics.




5. Beware of impulses


Spontaneous impulses are not always a good idea. Never, ever send an email when you are really upset.




6. Condition for good conditions


Condition yourself with mental anchors for good states.




7. Assessing personal relevance


Be confident with a smile … “To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.” meant Alexander Pope. Often, no other thought is worthwhile when strangers behave differently than we imagine. Is the situation really worth the trouble?




8. Beware of clairvoyance


Could it possibly be a misunderstanding? Questions help with clarification.




9.  Do not take everything personally


Do not take the behavior of other people so personally. Often their behavior has something to do with quite a different thing than is suspected at first glance.




10. Are you ashamed of other people?


I am not responsible for all other people’s mistakes.




11. Do practice compassion


To do something compassionate for someone else is incompatible with anger and aggression.




12. Physical exercise reduces stress.


Especially aerobic exercise, including brisk walking or jogging, can be a great way to handle anger.




13. Relaxation techniques


Learn to use relaxation techniques




14. Constructive soliloquy


Practice constructive soliloquy.




15. Ask for support


How about Coaching?




16. Distraction


Do distract yourself.




17. Meditate






18. Say NO


Learn to say no




19. Write


Bring your thoughts on paper.




20. Sleep on it


This gives you time to devise a sane and rational response to the situation. Don’t be afraid to tell the person who has aggrieved you that you need a day or two to think about the issue.




21. Practice repartee


Join a training in constructive repartee.




22. Count


Count from 1 to 10 or 100 if necessary. Thomas Jefferson famously said, “When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100.”




23. Do forgive


Forgiveness can help you stop ruminating, which is when negative thoughts play over and over in your head like some horror movie scene.



Knowing how and when it is worthwhile to react and when it is not, is helpful. It is a good fit to continue assuming responsibility. Those who are not omnipotent should use resources cleverly.



Some people say anger happens, it’s just part of life. Where and when do you want to stay in a good mental state today, where otherwise the personal serenity can easily be lost?


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This article is a short excerpt of the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.

First published: March 21, 2017
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: April 3, 2018
Translation: April 24, 2009
German version: