Truth and Myth About Body Language
Communication and conversation competence

Overview

• Truth and Myth About Body Language

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway

Truths and Myths About Body Language

Rather than relying on a specific behavior, catching a liar in the act is best done by watching their normal behaviors.
When those behaviors suddenly change, that's when a lie has likely been told.
The main reason to read books about body language is to know how others will interpret your body language.
Be careful in case someone tells you he can read body language accurately by the blink of an eye without preparation, knowing the person, the context or taking the time to calibrate.
I have sometimes spent days interpreting people's body language or even spent hours watching video sequences over and over again in order to gain expert skills in this field.

It simple can be because someone likes this posture or is looking for an alternative posture after being in open body postures for hours.

Even though it is deemed to be so by some known personalities it's not a recommendable posture.
Actually, most people find the gesture untrustworthy.
If we can't see what someone else's hands are doing, we're suspicious.
So if your goal is to increase trust in any given situation, don't put your hands behind your back. Instead show your palms to increase trust.

Rubbing the side of the nose can be a sign for a lie, but also for an itchy nose, a cold or a hay fever.

The reason for covering the mouth with the hands can be because someone is tired and is covering a yawn in order to be polite.

Jerking the head quickly to the side or leaning away from you could mean someone has a tension there that is not related with you and the subject the conversation is about, for example simply to much effort exerted in the first yoga lesson yesterday.

Generally, if someone is lying they avoid eye contact, at least during a certain part of the conversation.
Naturally, we make eye contact for at least half of a conversation.
Anything less than this could be suspicious.
But be careful; some people are so shy that they avoid eye contact with you and there are others who are actually lying but who have learnt to look you in your eye, to make you think they're being honest.

Some people blink more than others because of physical reasons.

Even though a false smile looks different from a natural one, sometimes there is the attempt to hide a lie with a forced smile.

Some people have a unstable pitch of the voice; change of tone, or a lot of stammering, throat clearing and word repetitions.

Even though there is some possible training to hide emotions, a perfect result is rare. The unconscious influence will show up anyway.
It needs more time and thoroughness but experts know to see the cues.
Training is an excellent way to avoid misunderstandings and to convey messages how they are intended.
Training is also eminent to learn how to read body language and to get the whole picture instead of focusing on only one element.

Sometimes when someone is lying there is a tendency to become extremely defensive, refusing to answer any questions and even accusing you of lying. This may mean they have something to hide but other liars are calm and some honest people are defensive by nature.

Beware of interpreting every single little sign you observe.
Resist drawing hasty conclusions based on someone who suddenly starts scratching the neck or touching the nose.
As just mentioned; read the body language in clusters and context.
This will help you to gain insights into how a person feels.
Learn how to include the full range of expressions and movements in your observation.
The human body movement includes the eyes, head, shoulders, lips, eyebrows, neck, legs, arms, fingers, hands and gestures.
The risk of reading your opponent is that you concentrate too much on just one single clue.

You can't tell for sure the meaning of a single element of body language. Reading the body language isn't 100% accurate all the time.
But by combining all the cues, you'll come up with reliable data supporting your assertions.
There are a lot of aspects to be taken into account in order to make an educated guess as to whether someone is telling the truth or a lie. Knowledge and training are essential to being able to effectively read body language.

Keywords

Consulting, coaching, truth, body language, myth, truth, facts, liar, lie, honesty, detecting lies, lie detector, management, interview, investigation, investigate, catch, negotiation, learning, business, private life, success

Copyright

© 1998 - 2012 Karsten Noack: Consulting, Coaching & Training Berlin
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Updated 05/10/12 - LBR