17 signs that someone is a manipulator

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Protecting yourself from manipulation
17 hints that someone is a manipulator

Manipulators

 

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

Manipulator

 

Manipulators are unfair and always their focus is on their interests. They’re looking for advantages for themselves even when they are lead to huge disadvantages for others

You can meet a lot of manipulators every day.

 

 

 

17 signs to recognize a manipulator

 

The easiest way to recognize the manipulator is by trusting your gut feeling. With a good portion of self-reflection, you know yourself, and therefore you realize an upcoming gut feeling. Because your gut feeling is based on a lot of experience and many factors like body language, it can signal when it’s time to have a closer look at the intention and behavior of someone.

 

 

 

17 typical signs that someone may be in a manipulator

 

 

1. Liars

 

The most experienced manipulators are well-trained liars. Therefore, they are excellent at hiding their intentions. It was really hard to get done. They know how to hide the typical signs of manipulation.

 

 

 

2. Exaggerated openness

 

Manipulators often behave as if they are very open-minded and willing to reveal everything you ask about. This way, they want to look more honest than they are. So manipulators want to get other people to reveal more about themselves. If they have the opportunity, then they can exploit that for themselves shamelessly.

 

 

 

3. Appeal to the conscience

 

Manipulators regularly refer to values ​​that are important to their victims. The values ​​are then used to develop compassion and concern for something in the interests of the manipulator. Who wants to violate his values?

 

 

 

4. Promoting guilt feelings

 

Manipulators do not take responsibility for anything, except when it is beneficial as a trick. In other people, however, they promote guilt feelings. Those who have guilty feelings are more restrained. Anyone who feels guilty does not pay much attention to their own needs, and feels obligated. Even the physiology of guilty feelings disturbs the inner balance. And manipulators know how to get us there.

While most people are still researching to find out what a Double Bind is, manipulators are already using it masterfully. If it were not so mean, we could admire such nasty people for their abilities. But such behavior leads to the dark side of power.

 

 

 

5. They appear empathetic

 

Manipulators make compliments that are one size too big, but who cares? The flattery of the ego is gladly accepted. The aftertaste is ignored. If it fits their plans, they are the most pleasant conversation partners. Well-versed manipulators anchor good conditions right from the beginning so that we can enjoy their closeness and goodwill. Then we do not want to miss this anymore. Manipulators close the trap slowly and imperceptibly.

Manipulators know the vulnerabilities of their chosen victims and use them without inhibitions. At first, it may feel as if the manipulator is particularly attentive and interested. But then openness becomes a personal disadvantage.

The less their potential victims practice self-reflection, the easier it will be for manipulators. Those who know their sore spots, let them heal and pay attention to themselves.

 

 

 

6. Twisting the facts

 

Manipulators are twisting the facts so much that we even develop doubts about where we were previously safe. The technique of reframing is in their toolbox, and they know to bend the reality in their interest.

 

 

 

7. They stage themselves as victims

 

Manipulators hurt other people and they should apologize for that. Nasty influencers like to make themselves victims. Anyone who stages himself as a victim enjoys some protection. Alleged victims hide as such. It also increases the pressure on observers. Who will be the victim of the common?

 

 

 

8. They make thinking difficult

 

Manipulators do a lot to prevent clear thinking. By doing so, they want to ensure that nobody recognizes their bad intentions. Manipulators use confusion, distraction, and indignation.

 

 

 

9. Egocentricity

 

Manipulators only have their interests in mind. If other people play a role, then only if it serves the interests of the manipulator.

 

 

 

10. The exploitation of good nature

 

Manipulators use good nature. Natural inhibitions are unimportant to them. Even small symbolic concessions are abused by them.

 

 

 

11. Lack of distance

 

Manipulators ignore the healthy need for privacy. They cross borders. In this way, they bring other people out of balance.

 

 

 

12. Authenticity

 

Manipulators know what we want to hear, or what makes us do what they want. It usually takes some time to realize that manipulators are untrustworthy. They do not walk the talk. Statements and actual behavior do not match. Honest people, promises are sacred. Manipulators only know their interests.

 

 

13. Name-dropping

 

Manipulators tend to become more important. They use titles, and names of famous people they allegedly know and show all kinds of status symbols.

 

 

 

14. False helpfulness

 

They like to appear helpful, but at best they expect a multiple of interest if they help. Everything is just a means to an end and when they have their foot in the door, it starts.

 

 

15. Linguistic fluency

 

Linguistic fluency is quite a valued skill. But it can be abused by manipulators. The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of language. Clear communication is avoided and the answers to questions are often evasive.

 

 

 

16. Gut feeling

 

We rarely trust the gut feeling, but it often announces quite early when something is wrong. Then the facts are missing, and therefore we do not trust the feeling. It is worthwhile to take a closer look at such cases. The gut feeling is based on experience and takes into account subtle clues that the conscious does not notice.

 

 

 

17. Additional perspectives

 

Involve people you trust and then form your own opinion. Find out who probably does not have your well-being in mind.

 

 

 

How to protect yourself from manipulation

 

To protect yourself from manipulators, it is important to know yourself, your values, ​​and your priorities. Anyone who can recognize clues about the properties of a manipulator can learn to deal with such people and their manipulation attempts.

How? Read the article Stop it, I hate that: Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

Frequently asked questions

What is manipulation?

Manipulative behavior is defined as the covert exertion of influence. When manipulating people, manipulative contemporaries want to influence the perception, thinking and actions of target persons as unnoticed as possible.

What are manipulators?

Manipulators are persons who manipulate. They do this by direct or subliminal influence in order to trigger or control certain behaviors.

Is manipulation bad?

Manipulation is considered negative when the needs, goals and benefits of target persons are not respected.

P.S.

 

How do you recognize a manipulator?

Articles

You should know Godwin’s Law in order not to fall into the trap

When attackers lack arguments, things often get dirty. Unfair comparisons, like with the Nazis, are then meant to distract. Rhetoric can also be fair, but unfortunately, it frequently is not. What does Godwin’s Law mean? And how does it relate to everyday communication, speeches and presentations?

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

read more
Body language: What can actually be read from the eyes? Not only wishes!

Body language: What can actually be read from the eyes? Not only wishes!

What can be read from the eyes? More than wishes! The eyes have a big part in human facial expressions. There is a reason why the eyes are called the mirror of the soul. They reveal a lot about our feelings and thoughts, no matter if we want it or not. Eyes can smile, radiate joy, permeate, agree, question, doubt or reject. Learn to read body language.

read more
Great Ideas Need Wings As Well As Landing Gear And...

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 27, 2009
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 20th, 2023
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#189

Don’t ignore conflicts!

Don't ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!

Designing instead of emergency rescue
Don't ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!

Conflicts don’t arise without a cause,
and don’t disappear until the cause is addressed.

 

 

 

Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!

 

When problem-solving everyday issues become a tug-of-war over who is right and who is wrong, then settling even the smallest of discussions becomes a battle. Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them before they get out of control!

William James meant; “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is an attitude.” So far so good, but which one, please?

 

 

 

Fight or flight?

 

Conflict is a natural aspect of relationships. As human beings, we are primed to respond to stress with a “fight” or “flight” response. Often, neither of these choices is appropriate in today’s world. Therefore, we need to find a way to address conflict that is direct and assertive, while also respectful and diplomatic. Some people fear conflict and go to great lengths to avoid it, which can backfire and lead to emotional, relational, and medical problems. If handled effectively, conflict can be an opportunity for learning, growth, and positive change.

 

 

 

You can’t really win a conflict

 

You can’t really win a conflict. Winning a conflict is getting the outcome you want, regardless of what the other person wants, which can be gratifying, sure. But the problem is that the underlying issue has not been solved. It will simply reappear later over some other topic. Much better than winning a conflict in private and business life is resolving it.

 

 

 

How about you?

 

Think of your own life. Who are you in conflict with? Imagine working things out, to resolve those conflicts. Think of the impact on all your relationships. Peace starts with each of us, and sometimes we need to take the first step. As Gandhi once said, “We must be the change we wish to see in others.”

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

P.S.

 

How do you deal with conflicts?

Articles

You should know Godwin’s Law in order not to fall into the trap

When attackers lack arguments, things often get dirty. Unfair comparisons, like with the Nazis, are then meant to distract. Rhetoric can also be fair, but unfortunately, it frequently is not. What does Godwin’s Law mean? And how does it relate to everyday communication, speeches and presentations?

These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

These 20+ conversation tips let you talk without interruption!

What kind of people don’t let you finish your talk? In a good conversation, everyone has his part. Everyone can talk and let the other talk. But why are some people interrupted so often and what can be done about it? Here are some tips to reduce the likelihood to be interrupted while you speak.

read more
17 signs that someone is a manipulator

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

read more
Don’t ignore conflicts!

Don’t ignore conflicts!

When problem-solving everyday issues become a tug-of-war over who’s right and who’s wrong, then settling even the smallest of discussions becomes a battle. Don’t ignore conflicts. Deal with them!

read more
Those who want, misunderstand us

Those who want, misunderstand us

Even if we provide a message with the appropriately deserved chance, it is not always communicated fairly. Then the best techniques and immense preparation help you only to a limited extent. Some hair can be found in every soup (German figure of speech), or conjured into it. What to do?

read more
Narcissists and feedback

Narcissists and feedback

People make mistakes and can learn from them. With narcissists this is unlikely. Even to harmless and cautious feedback, narcissists respond as if it were harsh inappropriate criticism.

read more

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version: 
K: 
H: 
T: RR
#1890

Beware of manipulation: Intentional mirroring in conversations

Beware of manipulation: Intentional mirroring in conversations

How to protect yourself from being manipulated
Manipulation

Intentional mirroring in conversations

 

Intentional mirroring is the deliberate imitation of other people to make them feel good. It serves to promote rapport and can also be used against the interests of the mirrored.

Overview

The language is given to man to hide his thoughts.

Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

Birds of a feather flock together

 

Surprisingly fast, some people are likable, without it being really clear why. In the presence of such people, we simply feel comfortable, so we seek their presence. In a shorter time than normal, we gain confidence. But it can be, that we deceive ourselves badly. Perhaps it is due to appropriate techniques, such as deliberate mirroring.

When people are of the same mind, they show similar posture, and similar gestures and their behavior also resembles each other amazingly.

Intentional mirroring is the deliberate imitation of other people to make them feel comfortable. It is used to promote rapport and can be used in the interests of the mirrored and also against their interests. It is therefore a technique with the intention of manipulation. Some contemporaries use this circumstance for it also, in order to deceive other humans, to manipulate and exploit. They study and copy the peculiarities, such as the language, opinions, and body language, to mirror the behavior. Speech rate, gestures, body position, facial expressions, volume, or breathing are mirrored and in this way they make their victims feel comfortable. They are then easier to influence.

 

 

 

 

NLP

 

In Neurolinguistic Programming, mirroring is called pacing. This technique is basically quite simple, and after it is taught in basic training, conversational partners are mimicked for practice. For it to work, the application must be quite subtle. In the zeal and lack of sensitivity, however, many interlocutors are so obviously mirrored that they feel aped and made fun of. Then it has exactly the opposite effect, generates aggression, and leads to the deterioration or even the termination of communication.

 

 

 

 

However…

 

These techniques can also be used to ensure that sufficient rapport is fostered despite difficult initial conditions, thus enabling positive developments. It is, like with all tools, a double-edged sword. Opportunities and risks are close together. Without moral aptitude, the best technique degenerates into something bad.

 

 

 

It is also a natural phenomenon

 

In body language, this is referred to as “mirroring”; in English, it is called “mirroring”. The unconscious variant is a natural behavior of people. People who are close and familiar with each other do it all by themselves.

Do you want to expand your knowledge and skills?

 

If you want to expand your knowledge and skills, come to my training, and I’ll show you how to identify, ward off and even use advanced manipulation techniques yourself. I recommend 2 to 5 hours for this worthwhile topic.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

Have you already become acquainted with this technique of intentional mirroring? Up to what point do you find its use legitimate and where does it become unethical?

Articles

You should know Godwin’s Law in order not to fall into the trap

When attackers lack arguments, things often get dirty. Unfair comparisons, like with the Nazis, are then meant to distract. Rhetoric can also be fair, but unfortunately, it frequently is not. What does Godwin’s Law mean? And how does it relate to everyday communication, speeches and presentations?

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

17 signs that someone is a manipulator

Not every attempt to manipulate us is obvious. Especially the professional manipulators learn how to hide their intentions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those manipulators in business and private life. Learn how to recognize manipulators.

read more
Body language: What can actually be read from the eyes? Not only wishes!

Body language: What can actually be read from the eyes? Not only wishes!

What can be read from the eyes? More than wishes! The eyes have a big part in human facial expressions. There is a reason why the eyes are called the mirror of the soul. They reveal a lot about our feelings and thoughts, no matter if we want it or not. Eyes can smile, radiate joy, permeate, agree, question, doubt or reject. Learn to read body language.

read more
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schweitzer

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 20, 2016
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: October 6, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/manipulationstechniken-erkennen/
K:
Ü: Review required
#131484

15 tips on how to stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!

15 Tipps on how to stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!

How about your courage to speak up?
Stand Up! Speak Up! - 8 Tipps on How To Stand Up For Your Conviction: Speak Up!

Stand up for your conviction

 

Some people have an opinion that deserves attention. Often, however, this opinion is not heard. Then it is time to decide whether to keep it that way or to share the point of view more clearly with others. Not everyone dares this step. What about you?

Overview

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

Václav Havel

Why don’t we stand up for what is right?

 

I appear to me that too few people are willing to stand up for what is right. Too many times, we keep on complaining about the injustice in the world, but so few of us are willing to stand up and speak up. With little or no backing, those few who do speak up then inevitably find themselves victimized – and that while others watch in silence. Somehow, we completely miss the fact that when we do not speak up against injustice, we become complicit in it.

Why is it that when people observe something wrong being done or said, they simply cannot find the courage to speak up against it? Is it that we fear being victimized? Or do we fear being disliked?

 

 

 

We don’t want conflict

 

I know how hard it can be to speak up. Most of us want to be nice to other people. We don’t want conflict.

Sometimes we aren’t certain that we even know what we want to say, but we know we should say something. While searching for the perfect words, we may hesitate.

 

 

 

It takes courage to speak up

 

Yes, it takes courage to speak up. And when we start to speak our truth, we often don’t do it elegantly. Especially when we are emotionally engaged, we can be clumsy and a little overbearing or inarticulate. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak our truth. It just means we need to practice being brave. Are you brave enough to tell the truth, even it is not mainstream? And are you willing to show respect by doing it in a way that supports your values without hurting others? Becoming aware of what prevents you from speaking up and facing the fear of being disapproved is the solution to start speaking up and giving your contribution. If you are looking for support …

You don’t want to look away?

 

Some people have an opinion that deserves attention. But if this opinion is not loud enough yet, then it is time to decide whether to keep it that way or to share it more clearly with others. How about you?

Leave the hiding place

 

Unfortunately, a lot of people are hiding, staying hidden. Not everyone dares to take the step into responsibility. Often possible consequences are avoided, sometimes rightly so. However, it is usually not necessary to sacrifice oneself as a martyr. Usually, it is enough to have the courage to talk about it in such a way that other people also form an opinion about it and can join if necessary.

Sometimes we run open doors and, although we expected resistance, we are welcomed with open arms. If not, then there is some headwind. So what? Those who dare to express their own opinion in non-totalitarian systems and do not cause unnecessary damage in the process may get a few bruises. But even that typically feels better than swallowing everything. Because those who have the impression that they are at the mercy of what is happening will suffer at some point. Sooner or later, people who build up such inner pressure become unhappy, ill, and sometimes even explode emotionally at some point. Then the frustration discharges in a way that is no longer appropriate and easily hits people who often have nothing to do with it. Therefore…

15 tips for dealing with resistance

 

 

1. Resistance as an indication to leave the mainstream

 

Instead of getting angry about the resistance or feeling it unpleasant, it helps to perceive it as a positive sign: It means you leave the mainstream, you come out of the slipstream of prefabricated opinions, and now follow your path.

Those who polarize are more likely to be noticed, you will now participate! Good!

 

 

 

2. Stay relaxed

 

Keep a cool head and a constructive serenity with which you can make the best decisions and act skillfully.

 

 

 

3. Remain true to your values

 

Just when the resistance becomes more intense and the tone rougher, you can show that you take the values you represent seriously, that you live them. This is what distinguishes heroes from fanatics.

 

 

 

4. The willingness to learn

 

Take a closer look at every feedback, even the uncomfortable ones, even the inappropriately expressed ones. There may be something to learn. Perhaps you overlooked something. At least then you will have a better basis for your argumentation.

 

 

 

5. Keep the focus

 

Don’t let the resistance take you astray. Always focus on your goals and priorities and remain flexible concerning the way ahead.

 

 

 

6. Dealing with fear

 

It is quite an individual matter how people deal with criticism. Some people find leaving the mainstream too unpleasant and others enjoy the provocation. Everyone has their limits, their themes, which are filled with fear. The better we know ourselves and work on ourselves, the tidier we are on our way.

 

 

 

7. Motivation

 

“Convincing is not difficult for a convinced person,” said Friedrich von Schiller. Knowing why it is worthwhile to stand up for something helps to summon up the courage to do it and to stick to it. A high degree of motivation is required, especially for larger challenges. Why is a topic so close to your heart?

Knowing why it pays to work for something helps to find the courage and to stick to it. Know what you want to accomplish. What is the key message you wish to communicate? Before you begin, you need to know what the desired outcome is. What is the exact reaction you want to get from your audience? Before speaking, visualize how you want your audience to react when receiving your message and the way you want them to feel afterward.

 

 

 

8. Know your content, your position

 

Anyone who has dealt extensively with a topic feels safer. How familiar are you with the topic? If you have dealt extensively with a topic, it feels safer to talk about it. Be prepared by doing your research and having visual aids to support your message.

Conviction is a feeling of certainty in your beliefs. Knowing that you’re on the right side of an issue makes it easier to stand up in the face of opposition. Challenges will come, but you can withstand them with a firm belief. Walk your talk.

When people challenge your belief, they are testing it. If you back down, then they will see it as a weakness in your position. Therefore, be armed with the facts and data points needed to convey your message if challenged. Review your message in advance, to determine whether there is conflicting data, and try to anticipate where there could be a difference of opinion. Test your arguments before you leave home. It is useful to have a list of opposition arguments and counter-arguments.

 

 

 

9. Know your audience

 

Not only do the arguments count, but they also have to be understood by the recipients. So adapt the communication style to the listener. To do that, it is necessary to know the target group, which in turn allows many insights into their thinking and other arguments.

It is important to understand your audience. Before communicating, try to better understand your audience.

  • Who are they?
  • What do they already know?
  • Do they need a lot of details?
  • What may they want to hear?
  • Are they engaged and interested in what you have to say?

 

One of the most significant aspects to be heard is to be a good listener. Too many times when others speak, we are just waiting for a break where we can jump in to share our opinions or experiences. Practicing active listening and pausing to collect your ideas before you share yours will refocus the audience’s attention on your message.

 

 

 

 

10. Speak the language of the target group

 

Not only do the arguments count, but they must also be understood by the recipients. So remember to adapt your communication style to the audience. To do this, it is necessary to know the target audience, which in turn allows many insights into their thinking and other arguments.

 

 

 

11. Authenticity

 

Listeners feel whether someone is pretending or means what he is saying. Body language plays an important role here.

 

 

 

12. Relationship

 

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re talking to a wall, think about your relationship with your audience. Only when sufficient rapport (sustainability of a relationship) has been established will messages reach their recipients. Only then do they get a real chance.

 

 

 

13. Personal attitude

 

Practice respect. Listeners perceive the attitude towards them. Does the provider of an idea see this as an offer or does he consider any person to be stupid who thinks differently, who does not accept it immediately? In the eagerness to dedicate oneself to a deserving cause, the respect towards those who think differently is easily lost. Filter bubbles and echo chamber effects can then lead to an attitude that seems arrogant. This then has the effect of an obstacle that makes it difficult for undecided and dissenting people to rethink their opinions.

 

 

 

14. Travel companions

 

It can be easier to work together with other people. At least if the common goal and the values match. Especially with larger challenges, it helps to mutually encourage each other.

 

 

 

15. Support

 

External help can make a lot of things easier. I sometimes offer such support free of charge to charitable projects. This will give you additional perspectives, inspiration, helpful knowledge, and skills as well as concrete support.

Preparation of important speeches and presentations

 

Those who do not speak are not heard, and even those who speak up are not always successful. There are a few more steps that need to be mastered.

Do you want to convince with your message and also as a personality? Then I will help you to prepare your speeches and presentations. You determine the scope. At least, I recommend a test run with professional feedback for you and your message. Then you will know how you and your content are perceived, what you should do, and what you should leave out, where there is potential. Why do you want to get such helpful feedback so late after your real performance? Then it is too late for adjustments. Benefit from the advantage. My definition of luck: Preparation meets opportunity.

You can best estimate for yourself where the effort is worthwhile concerning the expected benefit. Here you will find the fees for my support (communication, psychology, language, structure, voice, body language, storytelling, rhetorical means, media such as PowerPoint and Co., etc.)

You are not in Berlin right now? Then choose meetings with me via telephone or video support. Whereby, there are quite good reasons for a trip to Berlin.

By the way, many people suffer from such intense stage fright in front of an audience, and therefore their performance lags behind their possibilities. Too bad, because with my help performance in a good condition is possible. Just in case...

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

Are you brave enough to tell the truth, even it is not mainstream? What do you want to stand up for?

Articles

Speech is power: Make a positive impact!

Make an impact! Speech is power. And with that great power comes great responsibility. I train and prepare you for your speeches and presentations.

Travel companion for heroes

Travel companion for heroes

I don’t count the number of presentations I have supported. After all, it has been several years since I started my own business in 1998. In intensive cooperation, we have worked on many projects. Many ideas were put into practice. But I still realize too often, that honest and interesting messages are not heard by the intended target group. Therefore, I support people who have something important to say. How about you?

read more
stand up for your conviction: Be brave, speak up!
This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: March 2, 2005
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 20th, 2023
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#245

Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques

Recognize the 11 most common manipulation techniques

How to protect yourself from being manipulated
Manipulation

This is how you identify manipulation techniques

 

Discover how to recognize manipulation and choose counter-strategies. Here are descriptions of eleven types of manipulation techniques including body language.

What is manipulation?

 

The term manipulation has different, sometimes more, and sometimes less negative meanings. This article is about targeted and covert influence aimed at controlling perceptions, decisions, and the behavior of individuals and groups. This can be done with good or bad intentions. Manipulate means for most people to manage or influence skillfully, especially in a manner that seems to be unfair:

 

 

 

What possibilities of protection exist?

 

The first step is to identify the most common manipulation techniques. Then you can choose and use the appropriate counter-strategies.

 

 

 

How can manipulation attempts be identified?

 

The most essential requirement – to protect yourself from manipulation – is to know yourself well. Then you can interpret a possible gut feeling without detours.

We are especially manipulable when we are uncertain. Point!

Okay, I’ll decorate it a bit more, but that’s the core message: Someone who rests in himself is harder to manipulate! Many manipulation techniques are based on sowing doubt, making others feel guilty, or taking advantage of low self-confidence.

 

 

 

The 11 most common manipulation techniques

 

Let’s start with the different manipulation techniques in detail. Which manipulation techniques do exist?

Here is a selection:

  1. The principle of reciprocity
  2. Exclusivity/scarcity
  3. The persistence trap
  4. Herd instinct
  5. The friendship trick
  6. The authority trap
  7. Repetition
  8. Emotional tricks
  9. Selective information
  10. Killer phrases
  11. The fear trap

 

 

 

1. The principle of reciprocity

 

With small favors, other people can be guilty. That’s a popular way of manipulation. Living together is mutual. As long as the principle of reciprocity leads to a largely balanced exchange, everyone benefits from it. Thus, the reflex of responding to a gift with a gift is deeply rooted in many people. However, the connection between giving and taking can also be exploited. For example, investing one easy favor on another makes one feel obligated and desirous of reciprocating. Frequently, the response does not correspond to the actual intention in other circumstances.

Unfortunately, the experience of being manipulated in such a way often leads to a profound reluctance to accept a favor from other people in the future.

As with all other attempts at manipulation, coexistence becomes more difficult when people feel manipulated. Too bad, because small gifts are good for human relationships. As long as these mechanisms are not unilaterally abused, the principle of reciprocity benefits everyone.

 

Examples:

 

  • If a small favor of a colleague is accepted there are then inhibitions to reject the request for an inappropriate favor.
  • Beggars with flowers, who first give away a withered flower and then demand a donation, for which one could buy a whole bouquet of fresh spring flowers.
  • A harmless variant that uses the principle: There are higher tips if the waiter puts a candy next to the bill.

 

 

 

2. Exclusivity/scarcity

 

While stocks last! Not only the spectators of the teleshopping channels succumb to the fascination of scarcity. It is easy to get the impression that offers that are almost always sold out must be particularly worthwhile. Otherwise, they would not be so popular, right? The bottleneck is usually homemade to manipulate and make something more attractive than it is. Again, it helps to understand your own needs, instead of being pressured. Reject inappropriate calls without a guilty conscience!

 

Examples:

 

  • Special editions
  • Auctions
  • Sale, special offer, special occasion. The impending loss of freedom to make a decision urges people to choose the option, even if it has not been a priority so far.

 

 

 

3. The persistence trap

 

The “foot-in-the-door technique” entices to take the first step in a certain direction. This happens, for example, by asking for a small favor. This favor serves as a door opener. People are then much easier to persuade. Sometimes it is enough to ask someone to take a look at a task for a moment and then ask them afterward if they take over the task completely. This persistence trap significantly increases the probability that we say yes. People tend to be consistent.

In other words, once a person has taken a commitment, he or she is more willing to comply with requests that are consistent with it. “He who said A must also say B” or “what has been started must also be brought to an end. This often works but is nonsense. Pay attention to your gut feeling; Do you want that?

 

Examples:

 

  • During the Milgram experiment, this principle was also used. Initially, subjects were asked to administer harmless surges. This was then slowly increased, so it was harder to get out.
  • Fundraising collections that ask for a signature and then a donation.
  • Colleagues ask you to read something first and then ask for help.
  • Sales events with friends

 

 

 

4. Herd instinct

 

Holy crap: Billions of flies can not be wrong … Even humans are herd animals. What many others do and approve of is considered proof of correctness. As we know from the lemmings, this is not always recommended in practice. It’s not that easy with group intelligence. So beware of purchased references and peer pressure.

The safer you are, what is important to you, the harder you are to manipulate.

 

Examples:

 

  • Haha! In shallow TV series and talk shows recorded laughter ensures that the audience also laughs.
  • A company describes its product as the best-selling. Well then …
  • “Wollt Ihr den totalen Krieg?” (Do you want total war?) To this question in the speech of Joseph Goebbels of 1943 probably no mentally healthy person would have answered with “Yes”.

 

 

 

5. Friendship trick

 

Pleasant, nice to meet you. For people who are sympathetic to us, it is much harder to deny wishes. That makes use of the friendship trick. It creates a pleasant atmosphere first. This creates a basis for influencing the manipulator. Experienced observers recognize the overly conspicuous techniques for the promotion of rapport, such as the mirroring of body language, statements, etc.

 

Examples:

 

  • The cliché of the used car dealer in TV series agrees with the customer during the small talk, coincidentally has the same hobbies, etc.
  • Excessive praise.
  • Trying to anchor good states.
  • The exaggerated imitation of verbal language, body language, and statements.

 

 

 

6. The authority trap

 

I am Professor Dr. hc. Trickster.

The authority and the expert trick are based on combining a convincing appearance with credible-sounding arguments that are not always true. This works especially well if we have no authority in the relevant field.

Authority can also be borrowed. Some manipulators hide behind other supposed authorities. This often has the purpose to prevent openly expressed doubts. A particularly striking example of this is the electric shock experiment by Stanley Milgram. In experiments, more than 60 percent of the authority-led participants were willing to administer surgeries to supposed participants who would have been deadly in reality. And that, although the supposed participants groaned after every impulse, screaming in pain and begging, the experiment may be ended. No mercy, the expert said …

Knowledge is power? Yes! So in case of doubt, inform yourself! And that’s especially true when you encounter resistance. How real is the expert status if he refuses to prove the correctness of statements or if we want to inform ourselves? The alarm bells should ring!

 

Examples:

 

  • Acquisition and use of titles.
  • Status symbols like expensive cars, luxury watches, etc.
  • The dentist or the wife of the dentist in advertising for tooth cream.
  • The quality seal of a more or less prestigious institute.
  • The reference to the result of a well-known management consultancy.
  • American scientists have found out …
  • The colleague who claims that the management wants …

 

 

 

7. Repetition

 

Through constant repetition, we can be manipulated. It is often tried to increase the credibility of a statement by the constant repetition as in brainwashing. As the number of repetitions of an assertion tends to increase, the willingness to accept an assertion as true tends to increase. Through repetition, a notoriety effect occurs that causes us to adopt a familiar friendly attitude. Yes, we humans are quite vulnerable.

 

Examples:

 

  • Advertising messages are repeated very often.
  • Brand symbols that are placed at sporting events etc. in as many places as possible.
  • Repetition of messages in presentations.

 

 

 

8. Emotional tricks

 

Appealing to a person’s feelings is often more effective than turning to their reason. Concerns that are likely to fail at the logical level can sometimes be enforced on the emotional level. This is often used to eliminate our logical decision-making ability.

 

Examples:

 

  • Sad photographs at a fundraiser.
  • Horror scenarios in sales talks with the solution by a particularly expensive product.
  • Creating feelings of guilt to reduce self-esteem followed by a request (emotional blackmail).
  • To appeal to vanity.
  • Donation or hell as in the Middle Ages

 

 

 

9. Selective information

 

The exposure or omission of relevant information is very often used for manipulation. Even the line between truth and lies still offers a lot of leeway for liars. Sometimes this latitude is even used with good intentions, but it is a delicate step to the dark side.

Education offers some protection, as well as own research, as far as information is available. Good listening provides unintentional hints. Whereby sometimes the missing statements are more informative than the voluntarily expressed information. The exploration of possible interests of the manipulators also provides clues and urges caution.

 

Examples:

 

  • Propaganda
  • Study reports with predetermined goals
  • Lobbyism

 

 

 

10. The killer phrases

 

Ouch, what a painful argument! Killer phrases are attempts to manipulate individuals or groups by ostracizing any further treatment of a topic. Killer phrases are to be discovered as such and may not distract you. Killer phrases are taboo!

 

Examples:

 

  • We have always done this way!
  • That’s not possible anyway!
  • That’s none of our business.
  • If I were you, I would say so.

 

 

 

11. The fear trap

 

Even those who consider themselves relatives of Vulcanian Commander Spock are rarely truly objective in their perception and decision-making. We, humans, are very guided by feelings. That’s why manipulative people like to foster fears. They exaggerate the unpleasant consequences and if possible give the impression of time pressure. This works particularly well in large groups, in which less swarm intelligence rather than mass hysteria dominates.

 

Examples:

  • It may be too late tomorrow.
  • Imagine …
  • If you don’t accept the chance, who could forgive you for not acting?

Do you want to expand your knowledge and skills?

 

If you want to expand your knowledge and skills, come to my training and I’ll show you how to identify, ward off and even use advanced manipulation techniques yourself. I recommend 2 to 5 hours for this worthwhile topic.

Preparation of important conversations and negotiations

 

Communication can be very easy. But often it is not. Sometimes we say things and then later notice from the reaction of our conversation partners that they seem to have spoken to someone completely different. I didn't say that with the best will in the world. - Or did I say that after all?

More or less consciously, conversations are about convincing other people of something - be it a special offer, your personality, a perspective, or a necessity. If this doesn't happen fast enough and above all not exactly to the point and descriptively, the person we are talking to quickly loses interest, and we lose the hoped-for opportunity. — Conversation failed.

You can let me support you in the preparation of your conversations and negotiations (to be on the safe side: no legal advice!). Find out how you and your message are perceived (arguments, body language, language, voice, and much more). I will familiarize you with effective tools and communication strategies. Develop your psychological skills, learn to stay calm, act confidently, remain authentic, and finally convince.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

Do you recognize efforts to manipulate you?

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. Albert Schweitzer

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 20, 2016
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: October 6, 2021
Translation: ./.
German version: https://www.karstennoack.de/manipulationstechniken-erkennen/
K:
Ü: Review required
#131484

Here and now

Here And Now

Be present, aware and enjoy!
 
Here And Now

Planing?

 

I love making plans!
Plans to reach the goals.
Plans for personal growth.
Making plans to change the world.
Plans to …

Yes, planning is important.
But let us be aware of the side effects.

Even so, it is essential to realize the bigger picture it has some risks …
… We could miss being in the moment right now.

 

 

 

Be present, aware, and enjoy!

 

Are you present? Is your mind here, or is your mind elsewhere?

Whatever you are doing, be present and aware of it while you do the task. It’s more about your concentration than anything else. Being present means that you are focused on what you are doing. Plan your future and enjoy being in the here and now.

Let me quote John Lennon; “Life is what happens to us when we are making other plans.”
I like making plans, it is fun!

How about making plans and enjoying every step on the journey to reach our goals.

More Articles

 

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version: 
K: 
H: 
T: RR
#1890

One side of character is integrity

One Side of Character is Integrity

Personality and decision making

One side of character is integrity.
Integrity is being consistent in thoughts, words, and actions.

 

One Side of Character is Integrity

Overview

 

 

 

Definition: Character and Integrity

 

The definitions of these two words are often stretched or misrepresented.

 

 

Character

 

The character is the sum of qualities shown up in a person or group, moral or ethical strength, and the description of a person’s attributes, traits, and abilities. The character is who you are. It defines you and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.

 

 

Integrity

 

Having integrity means that you live in accordance with your deepest values; you’re honest, and you always keep your word.

Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, being unimpaired, sound, whole and undivided. C. S. Lewis meant; integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

 

So what?

 

When we live our lives with integrity, it means that we’re honest, and we let our actions speak for who we are and what we believe in. Integrity is a choice we make, and it’s a choice we must keep making, every moment of our lives.

People with integrity often have the same characteristics in common: they’re humble, they have a strong sense of self, they have high self-esteem, and they’re self-confident. These characteristics are important, because, sometimes, you’ll be under intense pressure from others to make the wrong choice.

To develop and protect your integrity, start by identifying your core values. These are the values that you refuse to compromise on, no matter what. Next, analyze every choice you make to ensure that you’re doing the right thing.

P.S.

 

What do you think about integrity?

Articles

Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

How do you actually affect people in conversations, speeches and presentations, in interviews? Professional feedback helps. What insights does an impact analysis offer you?

One side of character is integrity

One side of character is integrity

Integrity is an important part of a character. Integrity is a choice we make, and it’s a choice we must keep making, every moment of our lives. Develop and protect your integrity.

read more

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2001
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version: 
K: 
H: 
T: RR
#1890

Are impatience and laziness cardinal sins?

Are Impatience and Laziness Cardinal Sins?

What do you think?
 
Impatience and Laziness

There are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and laziness.

Franz Kafka

 

 

 

Do you agree?

 

In my mind, it isn’t that bad. Laziness is a quality by which the brain prevents a lot of energy which can otherwise be wasted in doing the unimportant tasks. Impatience, on the other hand, is a state in which the brain doesn’t want to wait for the actions and results. Therefore, the two can’t be related directly. However, one may say that laziness would consume the time which otherwise might have been used to do some productive work.

What do you think? Do you think that impatience and laziness are sins? Or do you see the good intent?

Articles

Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

How do you actually affect people in conversations, speeches and presentations, in interviews? Professional feedback helps. What insights does an impact analysis offer you?

One side of character is integrity

One side of character is integrity

Integrity is an important part of a character. Integrity is a choice we make, and it’s a choice we must keep making, every moment of our lives. Develop and protect your integrity.

read more

Promises and integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Promises and Integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Do you walk your talk?
Promises and Integrity: Who cares about the promises of yesterday?

Walk your talk

 

Actions that follow words? Authenticity? Walk your talk? In a world in which we are not accustomed to doing that, this is quite remarkable.

Keeping promises

 

Making promises and keeping promises isn’t the same. Many people promise mountains but deliver molehills.

Although Shakespeare said “a promise made is a debt unpaid”, what is left of this attitude in today‘s world? More widely used today is probably the notion; promises cost nothing. And what about empty promises?

In particular, the advertising industry depicts that no one is bothered about empty promises. Most people don’t take those promises for real. But this isn’t a new phenomenon.

“The message I hear well, but I have a little faith,” said Goethe. We have somehow become used to a lot of promises not being taken seriously. It is assumed that promises won’t be fulfilled or if so, only partly.

In some areas of business and marketing, the number of unrealistic promises made to us is absurd! Who truly believes that even the deepest wrinkles dissolve with anti-wrinkle creams? In TV ads tricks and gimmicks show 12-year-old girls styled as adult women to make mature women believe they can also have younger-looking skin again if they use the advertised miracle product.

Indulgent and largely unrestrained, the promises just keep coming and coming playing on our desires. However, people will see through the empty promises as lies and we won’t trust them anymore.

Those who promise much, forget a lot. Remember that, because promises quickly evaporate. It helps if your promises are quickly forgotten. A decreasing span of attention means promises go unnoticed faster and faster. Don’t worry about what you promised yesterday. This is immensely liberating. Who cares about moral reasoning? The bigger and louder, the better!

 

Everyone’s a millionaire where promises are concerned.

Ovid

 

But … Who makes honest promises in this bold way, runs the risk of being unheard. Of not being noticed or taken seriously. In the end, a large volume of promises will be reduced to only a few that you can keep. But there is also an opportunity or chance to hold yourself to those promises and maintain a reputation that you are honest and keep your word. Few, however, are willing to follow this path.

 

Do not give your word too quickly, so you do not break it; much better is to keep more than you promised.

Friedrich Rückert

 

It is better to make fewer promises because those who promise too quickly and too often rarely keep them. Actions that follow words? Authenticity? Walk your talk? In a world in which we are not accustomed to doing that, this is quite remarkable.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

Do you keep the promises that you make?

Articles

Professional impact analysis: How are you perceived by other people?

How do you actually affect people in conversations, speeches and presentations, in interviews? Professional feedback helps. What insights does an impact analysis offer you?

One side of character is integrity

One side of character is integrity

Integrity is an important part of a character. Integrity is a choice we make, and it’s a choice we must keep making, every moment of our lives. Develop and protect your integrity.

read more
May you live all the days of your life. Jonathan Swift

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: June 21, 2008
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: August 14, 2019
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#1890

More contentment through self-acceptance or does that reduce the motivation?

More contentment through self-acceptance or does that reduce the motivation?

Accepting oneself as the key to happiness and personal development
self-acceptance

Does self-acceptance reduce motivation?

 

Many people consider discontentment to be the most important motivator. My observation: We are happier when we learn to accept ourselves as we truly are. And we stimulate personal development this way.

More contentment through self-acceptance

 

Psychologists at the University of Hertfordshire conducted 2014 a survey. 5,000 people were asked to rate themselves on the 10 habits identified in a study as keys to happiness.

 

 

 

10 keys to a happier life

 

As the 10 keys to a happier life are named in the Study (external Link).

Giving: Doing something for other people
Relating: Connecting with others
Exercising: Moving the body and taking good care of it
Awareness: Living consciously
Trying out: Trying and learning new things
Direction: Setting appealing goals
Resilience: Getting on your feet with inner strength
Emotions: Figure out what’s good for you
Acceptance: Accepting oneself
Meaning: Being part of something larger

Together, the ten keys of happiness result in the acronym GREAT DREAM.

 

 

 

What’s missing? Self-acceptance!

 

The most interesting result of the study: The participants’ self-assessment was largely positive. The only habit that many people failed on was self-acceptance. Almost half of the participants rated themselves on a 10-point scale with 5 or less.

 

 

 

Causes

 

In our culture, there is enormous pressure on us to be successful and to constantly compare ourselves with others. This causes dissatisfaction and fear. It is intended to motivate us to perform better.

 

 

 

How can we learn from that insight?

 

Many people consider discontentment to be the most important motivator. My observation: We are happier when we learn to accept ourselves as we are. The fear of losing motivation through self-acceptance is not only unjustified, but the opposite is true. Self-acceptance also makes it easier for us to evolve naturally.

The insecurity and pressure resulting from comparisons and lack of self-acceptance hinder personal development. Exactly the opposite is achieved through pressure. Positively formulated: practicing self-acceptance removes obstacles so that personal development is easier to achieve. It is worth paying attention to self-acceptance.

 

 

 

Practicing self-acceptance

 

It is important to treat ourselves as benevolently as we treat other people. This also includes considering one’s own mistakes as an opportunity to learn. Those who tend to be overly critical of themselves should practice recognizing and appreciating their strengths.

To be at peace with yourself, it helps to take time to get to know and like yourself.

If you constantly compare yourself with other people, it is easy to underestimate your possibilities and characteristics. Each one of us is unique. However, what we take for granted, we easily overlook and underestimate.

Just ask me personally

 

Please post any questions that may be of interest to other readers in the comments. Looking for professional support?

If you are interested in coaching, training or consulting, if you have organizational questions, or if you want to make an appointment, you can reach me best via this contact form (you can choose if you want to enter your personal data) or via e-mail (mail@karstennoack.com). You can also reach me by phone at +49(0)30 864 213 68 or by cell phone at +49(0)1577 704 53 56 from Monday to Thursday from 9:00 to 18:00. Most of the time I am in sessions, so please leave a message with your phone number in Germany. Please remember to be very specific about the reason for your call. I will get back to you as soon as possible. The privacy policy can be found here.

Transparency is important. That is why you will find answers to frequently asked questions already here, for example about me (profile), the services, the fees and getting to know me. If you like what you see, I look forward to working with you.

 

 

 

Message

 

I have read and accept the privacy policy.

Remarks:

In the address bar of your browser, the URL should begin with "https://www.karstennoack.com/...". This indicates a secure connection (SSL). Whether you enter your real name is up to you.

P.S.

 

What are your thoughts on the subject? What is your attitude towards yourself and self-acceptance?

Future: That time when our business is doing well, our friends are loyal and our happiness is secured. Ambrose Bierce

This article is a short excerpt from the more comprehensive course materials my clients receive in a group or individual training or coaching.

Published: May 29, 2020
Author: Karsten Noack
Revision: May 29, 2020
Translation: ./.
German version:
K:
H:
T: RR
#452

error: Copyright